Break the world's shell!
 -Revolutionary Girl Utena, Student Council
%
Just who the hell do you think I am?!
 -Tengen Toppa Gurren Lagann, Simon
%
Your drill is the drill that will pierce the heavens!
 -Tengen Toppa Gurren Lagann, Kamina
%
The probability of success was zero percent. But I've learned that probabilities are meaningless when it comes to you guys.
 -Tengen Toppa Gurrent Lagann, Spiral King Lordgenome
%
This world is made of.... Love and Peace!
 -Trigun, Vash
%
Fnord
%
All statements are true in some sense, false in some sense, meaningless in some sense, true and false in some sense, true and meaningless in some sense, false and meaningless in some sense, and true and false and meaningless in some sense.
 -Principia Discordia
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Everything in the universe relates to the number 5, one way or another, given enough ingenuity on the part of the interpreter.
 -Principia Discordia
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IT IS MY FIRM BELIEF THAT IT IS A MISTAKE TO HOLD FIRM BELIEFS.
 -Principia Discordia
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Being desirous of allaying the dissensions of party strife now existing within our realm, I do hereby dissolve and abolish the Democratic and Republican parties, and also do hereby decree the disfranchisement and imprisonment, for not more than 10, nor less than five, years, to all persons leading to any violation of this our imperial decree. 
 -"Imperial Decree", Norton I, Emperor of the United States and Protector of Mexico
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We Centauri live our lives for appearances, position, status, title. These are the things by which we define ourselves. But when I look beneath the mask I am forced to wear, I see only emptiness. And then I think of you, and then I say… to hell with appearances.
 -Babylon 5, Londo Mollari
%
Something my father said. He was old, very old at the time. I went into his room, and he was sitting alone in the dark, crying. So I asked him what was wrong, and he said, "My shoes are too tight, but it doesn't matter, because I have forgotten how to dance." I never understood what that meant until now. My shoes are too tight, and I have forgotten how to dance.
 -Babylon 5, Londo Mollari
%
The avalanche has already started. It is too late for the pebbles to vote.
 -Babylon 5, Kosh Naranek
%
Zathras not of this time. You take, Zathras die. You leave, Zathras die. Either way, it is bad for Zathras.
 -Babylon 5, Zathras
%
There comes a time when you look into the mirror, and you realize that what you see is all that you will ever be. Then you accept it, or you kill yourself. Or you stop looking into mirrors.
 -Babylon 5, Londo Mollari
%
Only one human captain has ever survived battle with a Minbari fleet. He is behind me. You are in front of me. If you value your lives, be somewhere else.
 -Babylon 5, Delenn
%
Zathras is used to being beast of burden to other people's needs. Very sad life! Probably have very sad death, but at least there is symmetry!
 -Babylon 5, Zathras
%
Well, if you're gonna have delusions, may as well go for the really satisfying ones.
 -Babylon 5, Marcus Cole
%
I used to think it was a terrible thing that life was so unfair. Then I thought, 'what if life were fair, and all of the terrible things that happen to us came because we really deserved them?' Now I take great comfort in the general unfairness and hostility of the universe.
 -Bablyon 5, Marcus Cole
%
Aren't you a little out of place here? And everywhere else on Earth?
 -Daria, Quinn Morgendorffer
%
Well, I didn't talk to a whole bunch of new people, I made Quinn want to throw herself down a well and I'm going home with a bonus sock. All in all, a great night.
 -Daria, Daria Morgendorffer
%
Oh, how awful. Did he at least die painlessly? ...To shreds, you say. Well, how is his wife holding up? ...To shreds, you say.
 -Futurama, Professor Hubert J. Farnsworth
%
I love this planet! I've got wealth, fame, and access to the depths of sleaze that those things bring.
 -Futurama, Bender Bending Rodriguez
%
Oh, I always feared he might run off like this. Why, why, why didn't I break his legs?
 -Futurama, Professor Hubert J. Farnsworth
%
The alien mothership is in orbit here. If we can hit that bullseye, the rest of the dominoes will fall like a house of cards. Checkmate.
 -Futurama, Zapp Brannigan
%
Good news, everyone! I've taught the toaster to feel love!
 -Futurama, Professor Hubert J. Farnsworth
%
Goodbye, cruel world. Goodbye, cruel lamp. Goodbye, cruel velvet drapes, lined with what would appear to be some sort of cruel muslin and the cute little pom-pom curtain pull cords. Cruel though they may be...
 -Futurama, Professor Hubert J. Farnsworth
%
Good news, everyone! There's a report on TV with some very bad news!
 -Futurama, Professor Farnsworth
%
They're like sex, except I'm having them!
 -Futurama, Phillip J. Fry
%
This is the worst kind of discrimination: the kind against me!
 -Futurama, Bender Bending Rodriguez
%
Michelle, I don't regret this, but I both rue and lament it.
 -Futurama, Phillip J. Fry
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Foolish human race! Organizing your knowledge by category just made it easier to absorb. Dewey, you fool! Your decimal system has played right into my hands!
 -Futurama, Big Brain
%
It's toe-tappingly tragic!
 -Futurama, Dr. John A. Zoidberg
%
By Tuesday it'll be Thursday. By Wednesday, it'll be August. And by Thursday, it'll be the end of the Universe!
 -Futurama, Professor Hubert J. Farnsworth
%
Interesting. No, wait, the other thing: tedious.
 -Futurama, Bender Bending Rodriguez
%
I'm sorry, guys. I never meant to hurt you. Just to destroy everything you ever believed in.
 -Futurama, Bender Bending Rodriguez
%
Now, now. Perfectly symmetrical violence never solved anything.
 -Futurama, Professor Hubert J. Farnsworth
%
This opera's as lousy as it is brilliant! Your lyrics lack subtlety. You can't just have your characters announce how they feel. That makes me feel angry!
 -Futurama, Robot Devil
%
You may have to "metaphorically" make a deal with the "devil." And by "devil," I mean Robot Devil. And by "metaphorically," I mean get your coat.
 -Futurama, Bender Bending Rodriguez
%
But, invader's blood marches through my veins like giant radioactive rubber pants! The pants command me. Do not ignore my veins!
 -Invader Zim, Zim
%
You expect me to pay to ride this filthy machine??! Have you the brain worms?!
 -Invader Zim, Zim
%
If you want to keep all your limbs Zim, you will put me down, you will put me down now!
 -Invader Zim, Gaz
%
It's me! I was the turkey all along!
 -Invader Zim, GIR
%
AHHHH! The flesh-eating demon squid has escaped again and created an army of cyborg zombie soldiers to do its evil bidding!
 -Invader Zim, Zim
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Venture and I have been engaged in a deadly game of cat and also-cat for years!
 -The Venture Bros., The Monarch
%
Greetings, pumpkin, I am at Mr. Venture's lab... to right that which is wrong and to repair the torn curtain OF TIME ITSELF!! There are four puddings in the fridge. You may enjoy the contents of one of them. Dinner at six.
 -The Venture Bros., Dr. Orpheus
%
Oh yeah, I lost my locator, and yes, I realize the irony of that.
 -The Venture Bros., Dr. Venture
%
Careful Lad. Those hands of his are strong enough to crush a boulder. Yet delicate enough to crush a butterfly.
 -The Venture Bros., Col. Gentleman
%
I have removed the bullet. And three others, a blowgun dart, two shark's teeth, a tip of a bayonet, a twisted paperclip, and a meager handful of buckshot. You may want to learn how to duck.
 -The Venture Bros., Phantom Limb
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I say we take off and nuke the entire site from orbit. It's the only way to be sure.
 -Aliens, Ellen Ripley
%
I won't kill you...but I don't have to save you.
 -Batman Begins, Batman
%
Death does not wait for you to be ready! Death is not considerate or fair. And make no mistake: here, you face death.
 -Batman Begins, Ra's Al Ghul
%
If someone stands in the way of true justice, you simply walk up behind them and stab them in the heart.
 -Batman Begins, Ra's Al Ghul
%
Say what you want, but I promise you, you will be dead by dawn.
 -Blade, Blade
%
We're so glad to see so many of you lovely people here tonight. And we would especially like to welcome all the representatives of Illinois's law enforcement community who have chosen to join us here in the Palace Hotel Ballroom at this time. We do sincerely hope you all enjoy the show, and please remember people that no matter who you are and what you do to live, thrive and survive there are still some things that make us all the same. You, me, them, everybody, everybody!
 -The Blues Brothers, Elwood Blues
%
I ran outta gas! I had a flat tire! I didn't have enough money for cab fare! My tux didn't come back from the cleaners! An old friend came in from outta town! Someone stole my car! There was an earthquake! A terrible flood! Locusts!! It wasn't my fault I swear to God!!!
 -The Blues Brothers, 'Joliet' Jake Blues
%
You contemptible pig! I remained celibate for you. I stood at the back of a cathedral, waiting, in celibacy, for you, with three hundred friends and relatives in attendance. My uncle hired the best Romanian caterers in the state. To obtain the seven limousines for the wedding party, my father used up his last favor with Mad Pete Trullo. So for me, for my mother, my grandmother, my father, my uncle, and for the common good, I must now kill you, and your brother.
 -The Blues Brothers, The Mystery woman
%
Use of unnecessary violence in apprehension of the Blues Brothers... has been approved.
 -The Blues Brothers, Police Dispatcher
%
It's a hundred and six miles to Chicago, we've got a full tank of gas, half a pack of cigarettes, it's dark, and we're wearing sunglasses.
 -The Blues Brothers, Elwood Blues
%
Uh, ma'am, we're the Blues Brothers. We do blues, rhythm and blues, jazz, funk, soul, we can handle rock, pop, country, heavy metal, fusion, hip hop, rap, Motown, operetta, show tunes, in fact, we've even been called upon, on occasion, to do a polka. However, Caribbean is a type of music, I regret to say, which has not been, is simply not, nor will ever be a part of this band's repertoire.
 -Blues Brothers 2000, Elwood Blues
%
You may go if you wish. But remember this: walk away now and you walk away from your crafts, your skills, your vocations; leaving the next generation with nothing but recycled, digitally-sampled techno-grooves, quasi-synth rhythms, pseudo-songs of violence-laden gangsta-rap, acid pop, and simpering, saccharine, soulless slush. Depart now and you forever separate yourselves from the vital American legacies of Robert Johnson, Muddy Waters, Willie Dixon, Jimmy Reed, Memphis Slim, Blind Boy Fuller, Louis Jordon, Little Walter, Big Walter, Sonny Boy Williamson I and II, Otis Redding, Jackie Wilson, Elvis Presley, Lieber and Stoller, and Robert K. Weiss.
 -Blues Brothers 2000, Elwood Blues
%
And I am reminded on this holy day of the sad story of Kitty Genovese. As you all may remember, long time ago almost 30 years ago. This poor soul cried out for help time and time again, but no person answered their calls. Though many saw, no one so much as called the police. They all just watched as Kitty was being stabbed to death in broad daylight. They watched as her assailant walked away. Now, we must all fear evil men. But, there is another kind of evil which we must all fear most... and that is the indifference of good men!
 -The Boondock Saints, Monsignor
%
He was always a rather stupidly optimistic man. I’m afraid it came as a great shock to him when he died.
 -Clue, Mrs. White
%
I believe whatever doesn't kill you simply makes you... stranger.
 -The Dark Knight, The Joker
%
If you're good at something, never do it for free.
 -The Dark Knight, The Joker
%
It's not about money, it's about sending a message - Everything burns!
 -The Dark Knight, The Joker
%
This is what happens when an unstoppable force meets an immovable object. You won't kill me because of some misplaced sense of self-righteousness. And I won't kill you because... you're just too much fun! I think you and I are destined to do this forever.
 -The Dark Knight, The Joker
%
You see, madness, as you know, is... like gravity - all it takes is a little push!
 -The Dark Knight, The Joker
%
Some men aren't looking for anything logical, like money. They can't be bought, bullied, reasoned, or negotiated with. Some men just want to watch the world burn.
 -The Dark Knight, Alfred Pennyworth
%
When my brothers and I played cowboys and Indians, I was always the Chinese railroad worker.
 -Death to Smoochy, Sheldon Mopes
%
Mass genocide is the most exhausting activity one can engage in, next to soccer.
 -Dogma, Loki
%
I repeat: this is not a drill. This is the Apocalypse. Please exit the hospital in an orderly fashion.
 -Dogma, St. Michael's Hospital's PA Annoucner
%
...human beings have neither the aural nor the psychological capacity to withstand the awesome power of God's true voice. Were you to hear it, your mind would cave in and your heart would explode within your chest. We went through five Adams before we figured that one out.
 -Dogma, Metatron
%
Hello? Uh, hello? Hello, Dmitri? Listen, I can't hear too well, do you suppose you could turn the music down just a little? ... Oh, that's much better. Yes. Fine, I can hear you now, Dmitri. Clear and plain and coming through fine. I'm coming through fine too, eh? Good, then. Well then, as you say we're both coming through fine. Good. Well, it's good that you're fine, and - and I'm fine. I agree with you. It's great to be fine.  Now then, Dmitri, you know how we've always talked about the possibility of something going wrong with the bomb. ... The BOMB, Dmitri! The hydrogen bomb! Well now, what happened is, uh, one of our base commanders, he had a sort of, well, he went a little funny in the head. You know. Just a little...funny. And uh, he went and did a silly thing. Well, I'll tell you what he did, he ordered his planes...to attack your country. Well, let me finish, Dmitri. Let me finish, Dmitri. Well, listen, how do you think I feel about it? Can you imagine how I feel about it, Dmitri? Why do you think I'm calling you? Just to say hello? ... Of course I like to speak to you! Of course I like to say hello! Not now, but any time, Dmitri. I'm just calling up to tell you something terrible has happened. It's a friendly call. Of course it's a friendly call. Listen, if it wasn't friendly,...you probably wouldn't have even got it. They will not reach their targets for at least another hour. ... I'm sorry too, Dmitri. I'm very sorry. All right! You're sorrier than I am! But I am sorry as well. I am as sorry as you are Dmitri. Don't say that you are more sorry than I am, because I am capable of being just as sorry as you are. So we're both sorry, all right? All right.
 -Dr. Strangelove or: How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Love the Bomb, President Merkin Muffley
%
Gentlemen, you can't fight in here! This is the War Room!
 -Dr. Strangelove or: How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Love the Bomb, President Merkin Muffley
%
Do you realize that in addition to fluoridating water, why, there are studies underway to fluoridate salt, flour, fruit juices, soup, sugar, milk, ice cream? Ice cream, Mandrake? Children's ice cream!...You know when fluoridation began?...1946. 1946, Mandrake. How does that coincide with your post-war Commie conspiracy, huh? It's incredibly obvious, isn't it? A foreign substance is introduced into our precious bodily fluids without the knowledge of the individual, and certainly without any choice. That's the way your hard-core Commie works. I first became aware of it, Mandrake, during the physical act of love...Yes, a profound sense of fatigue, a feeling of emptiness followed. Luckily I-I was able to interpret these feelings correctly. Loss of essence. I can assure you it has not recurred, Mandrake. Women, er, women sense my power, and they seek the life essence. I do not avoid women, Mandrake...but I do deny them my essence.
 -Dr. Strangelove or: How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Love the Bomb, Base Commander Jack D. Ripper
%
Mr. President, we must not allow a mineshaft gap!
 -Dr. Strangelove or: How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Love the Bomb, General 'Buck' Turgidson
%
This is my rifle. There are many like it but this one is mine. My rifle is my best friend. It is my life. I must master it as I must master my life. Without me, my rifle is useless. Without my rifle I am useless. I must fire my rifle true. I must shoot straighter than my enemy, who is trying to kill me. I must shoot him before he shoots me. I will. Before God I swear this creed: my rifle and myself are defenders of my country, we are the masters of our enemy, we are the saviors of my life. So be it, until there is no enemy, but peace. Amen.
 -Full Metal Jacket, Marines
%
Your job is to craft my doom... so I'm not sure how well I should wish you... but I'm sure we'll have a lot of fun. Ta-ta.
 -Hannibal, Hannibal Lecter
%
That's what the Internet is for: slandering others anonymously.
 -Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back, Banky
%
As I said before, I've allowed you to keep your wicked life for two reasons. And the second reason is so you can tell him in person everything that happened here tonight. I want him to witness the extent of my mercy by witnessing your deformed body. I want you to tell him all the information you just told me. I want him to know what I know. I want him to know I want him to know. And I want them all to know they'll all soon be as dead as O-Ren.
 -Kill Bill: Volume 1, Beatrix Kiddo
%
It's mercy, compassion and forgiveness I lack. Not rationality.
 -Kill Bill: Volume 1, Beatrix Kiddo
%
Those of you lucky enough to still have your lives, take them with you! But leave the limbs you have lost. They belong to me now.
 -Kill Bill: Volume 1, Beatrix Kiddo
%
For those regarded as warriors, when engaged in combat, the vanquishing of thine enemy can be the warrior's only concern. Suppress all human emotion and compassion. Kill whoever stands in thy way, even if that be Lord God or Buddha himself. This truth lies at the heart of the art of combat.
 -Kill Bill: Volume 1, Hattori Hanzo
%
To get even? Even Steven? I would have to kill you, go up to Nikki's room, kill her, then wait for your husband, the good Dr. Bell, to come home and kill him. That would be even, Vernita. That'd be about square.
 -Kill Bill: Volume 1, Beatrix Kiddo
%
Once upon a time in China, some believe around the year one double-ought three, head priest of the White Lotus Clan, Pai Mei, was walking down the road, contemplating whatever it is that a man of Pai Mei's infinite power contemplates – which is another way of saying "who knows?" – when a Shaolin monk appeared on the road, traveling in the opposite direction. As the monk and the priest crossed paths, Pai Mei, in a practically unfathomable display of generosity, gave the monk the slightest of nods. The nod was not returned. Now, was it the intention of the Shaolin monk to insult Pai Mei? Or did he just fail to see the generous social gesture? The motives of the monk remain unknown. What is known were the consequences. The next morning Pai Mei appeared at the Shaolin Temple and demanded of the Temple's head abbot that he offer Pai Mei his neck to repay the insult. The Abbot at first tried to console Pai Mei, only to find Pai Mei was inconsolable. So began the massacre of the Shaolin Temple and all sixty of the monks inside at the fists of the White Lotus. And so began the legend of Pai Mei's five-point-palm-exploding-heart technique.
 -Kill Bill: Volume 2, Bill
%
But apart from the sanitation, the medicine, education, wine, public order, irrigation, roads, the fresh-water system, and public health, what have the Romans ever done for us?
 -Life of Brian, Reg
%
There are over 550 million firearms in worldwide circulation. That's one firearm for every twelve people on the planet. The only question is: How do we arm the other 11?
 -Lord of War, Yuri Orlov
%
They say, "Evil prevails when good men fail to act." What they ought to say is, "Evil prevails."
 -Lord of War, Yuri Orlov
%
Of all the weapons in the vast soviet arsenal nothing was more profitable than Avtomat Kalashnikova model of 1947, more commonly known as the AK-47, or Kalashnikov. It's the worlds most popular assault rifle, a weapon all fighters love. An elegantly simple nine pound amalgamation of forged steel and plywood, it doesn't break, jam, or overheat. It will fire whether it's covered in mud or filled with sand. It's so easy even a child could use it, and they do. The Soviets put the gun on a coin. Mozambique put it on their flag. Since the end of the Cold War, the Kalashnikov has become the Russian people's greatest export. After that comes vodka, caviar, and suicidal novelists. One thing is for sure, no one was lining up to buy their cars.
 -Lord of War, Yuri Orlov
%
There are two tragedies in life. One is not getting what you want. The other is getting it.
 -Lord of War, Yuri Orlov
%
Some of the most successful relationships are based on lies and deceit. Since that's where they usually end up anyway, it's a logical place to start.
 -Lord of War, Yuri Orlov
%
There's no problem with living a double life. It's the triple and quadruple lives that get you in the end.
 -Lord of War, Yuri Orlov
%
Let me tell you what's gonna happen. This way you can prepare yourself. Okay. Soon there's gonna be a knock on that door and you will be called outside. In the hall there will be a man who outranks you. First, he'll compliment you on the fine job you've done, that you're making the world a safer place, that you're to receive a commendation and a promotion. And then he's going to tell you that I am to be released. You're going to protest. You'll probably threaten to resign. But in the end I will be released. The reason I'll be released is the same reason you think I'll be convicted. I do rub shoulders with some of the most vile, sadistic men calling themselves leaders today. But some of those men are the enemies of your enemies. And while the biggest arms dealer in the world is your boss, the President of the United States, who ships more merchandise in a day than I do in a year... sometimes it's embarrassing to have his fingerprints on the guns. Sometimes he needs a freelancer like me to supply forces he can't be seen supplying. So... you call me evil. But unfortunately for you, I'm a necessary evil.
 -Lord of War, Yuri Orlov
%
Charlie Chaplin once entered a Charlie Chaplin look-alike contest in Monte Carlo and came in third; that's a story. This...is something else.
 -Lucky Number Slevin, Mr. Goodkat
%
Well, that sounds like a pretty good deal. But I think I got a better one. How about I give you the finger, and you give me my phone call.
 -The Matrix, Neo
%
I know you're out there. I can feel you now. I know that you're afraid. You're afraid of us. You're afraid of change. I don't know the future. I didn't come here to tell you how this is going to end. I came here to tell you how it's going to begin. I'm going to hang up this phone, and then I'm going to show these people what you don't want them to see. I'm going to show them a world ... without you. A world without rules and controls, without borders or boundaries. A world where anything is possible. Where we go from there is a choice I leave to you.
 -The Matrix, Neo
%
There is a difference between knowing the path and walking the path.
 -The Matrix, Morpheus
%
Don't think you are, know you are.
 -The Matrix, Morpheus
%
Stop trying to hit me and hit me!
 -The Matrix, Morpheus
%
I'd like to share a revelation I've had during my time here. It came to me when I tried to classify your species. I realized that you're not actually mammals. Every mammal on this planet instinctively develops a natural equilibrium with their surrounding environment, but you humans do not. You move to another area, and you multiply, and you multiply, until every natural resource is consumed. The only way you can survive is to spread to another area. There is another organism on this planet that follows the same pattern. Do you know what it is? A virus. Human beings are a disease, a cancer of this planet. You are a plague, and we are the cure.
 -The Matrix, Agent Smith
%
Find them and destroy them.
 -The Matrix, Agent Smith
%
I only lied about being a thief, I don't do that anymore.
 -Ocean's Eleven, Danny Ocean
%
Well, any human being will cast about in a moment of stress. No, the fact is, they're flooding this valley so they can hydroelectric up the whole durn state. Yes, sir, the South is gonna change. Everything's gonna be put on electricity and run on a paying basis. Out with the old spiritual mumbo jumbo, the superstitions, and the backward ways. We're gonna see a brave new world where they run everybody a wire and hook us all up to a grid. Yes, sir, a veritable age of reason. Like the one they had in France. Not a moment too soon.
 -O Brother, Where Art Thou?, Ulysses Everett McGill
%
We don't have a lot of time on this earth. We weren't meant to spend it this way. Human beings were not meant to sit in little cubicles staring at computer screens all day, filling out useless forms and listening to eight different bosses drone on about mission statements.
 -Office Space, Peter Gibbons
%
Me, I'm dishonest. And a dishonest man you can always trust to be dishonest. Honestly, it's the honest ones you want to watch out for, because you can never predict when they're going to do something incredibly stupid.
 -Pirates of the Carribean: The Curse of the Black Pearl, Captain Jack Sparrow
%
No survivors? Then where do the stories come from, I wonder?
 -Pirates of the Carribean: The Curse of the Black Pearl, Captain Jack Sparrow
%
Hello. My name is Inigo Montoya. You killed my father. Prepare to die.
 -The Princess Bride, Inigo Montoya
%
You keep using that word. I do not think it means what you think it means.
 -The Princess Bride, Inigo Montoya
%
I could do that. I have some rope up here, but I do not think you would accept my help, since I am only waiting around to kill you.
 -The Princess Bride, Inigo Montoya
%
You mean you wish to surrender to me? Very well, I accept.
 -The Princess Bride, Westley
%
I am waiting for you, Vizzini. You told me to go back to the beginning. So I have. This is where I am, and this is where I will stay. I will not be moved.
 -The Princess Bride, Inigo Montoya
%
I just want you to feel you're doing well. I hate for people to die embarrassed.
 -The Princess Bride, Fezzik
%
Say, do any of you guys know how to Madison?
 -The Rocky Horror Picture Show, Brad
%
As Mr. Sloan always says, there is no "I" in team, but there is an "I" in pie. And there's an "i" in meat pie. Meat is the anagram of team... I don't know what he's talking about.
 -Shaun of the Dead, Shaun
%
A census taker once tried to test me. I ate his liver with some fava beans and a nice chianti.
 -The Silence of the Lambs, Dr. Hannibal Lecter
%
So, Lone Starr, now you see that evil will always triumph, because good is dumb.
 -Spaceballs, Dark Helmet
%
I am your father's brother's nephew's cousin's former roommate.
 -Spaceballs, Dark Helmet
%
1-2-3-4-5? That's the stupidest combination I've ever heard of in my life! That's the kinda thing an idiot would have on his luggage!
 -Spaceballs, Dark Helmet
%
1, 2, 3, 4, 5? That's amazing! I've got the same combination on my luggage!
 -Spaceballs, President Skroob
%
Sandurz, Sandurz! You got to help me! I don't know what to do. I can't make decisions! I'm a president!
 -Spaceballs, President Skroob
%
Helmet. So, at last we meet for the first time for the last time.
 -Spaceballs, Lone Starr
%
You idiots! These are not them! You've captured their stunt doubles!
 -Spaceballs, Spaceball Commander
%
If there's a bright center of the universe, you're on the planet that it's farthest from.
 -Star Wars Episode IV: A New Hope, Luke Skywalker
%
And these blast points, too accurate for Sandpeople. Only Imperial stormtroopers are so precise.
 -Star Wars Episode IV: A New Hope, Obi-Wan Kenobi
%
Who's the more foolish, the fool or the fool who follows him?
 -Star Wars Episode IV: A New Hope, Obi-Wan Kenobi
%
Boring conversation anyway.
 -Star Wars Episode IV: A New Hope, Han Solo
%
What an incredible smell you've discovered!
 -Star Wars Episode IV: A New Hope, Han Solo
%
You know, sometimes I amaze even myself.
 -Star Wars Episode IV: A New Hope, Han Solo
%
You came in that thing? You're braver than I thought.
 -Star Wars Episode IV: A New Hope, Princess Leia Organa
%
You are part of the Rebel Alliance and a traitor! Take her away!
 -Star Wars Episode IV: A New Hope, Darth Vader
%
Evacuate? In our moment of triumph? I think you overestimate their chances.
 -Star Wars Episode IV: A New Hope, Grand Moff Tarkin
%
It might have been my sixth, or even my seventh sense.
 -Super Troopers, Foster
%
I swear to God, I'll pistol whip the next guy who says shenanigans!
 -Super Troppers, Captain O'Hagen
%
It's not every day that you find out you're responsible for 3 billion deaths. He took it pretty well.
 -Terminator 2: Judgement Day, Sarah Connor
%
I don't have an M.D. or Law degree. I have a bachelors in kicking ass and taking names.
 -Thank You for Smoking, Nick Naylor
%
Michael Jordan plays ball. Charles Manson kills people. I talk. Everyone has a talent.
 -Thank You for Smoking, Nick Naylor
%
Everyone's got a mortgage to pay. ...The Yuppie Nuremberg defense.
 -Thank You for Smoking, Nick Naylor
%
We don't sell Tic Tacs, for Christ's sake, we sell cigarettes. And they're cool, available, and addictive. The job is almost done for us.
 -Thank You for Smoking, BR
%
The Glory of The Many demands your capture or destruction.
 -System Shock 2, Xerxes
%
This is Xerxes. Can you not feel the glory of the flesh? Do you not yearn to be free of the tyranny of the individual?
 -System Shock 2, Xerxes
%
When the history of my glory is written, your species shall only be a footnote to my magnificence.
 -System Shock 2, SHODAN
%
You seek your associates, but you cannot find them. You are so very alone. How does it feel to be one, against... the infinite?
 -System Shock 2, The Many
%
With only a few short years of evolution, they've been able to conquer this starship, mankind's mightiest creation. Where were we after forty years of evolution? What swamp were we swimming around in, single celled and mindless? What if SHODAN's creations are superior to us? What will they become in a million years, in ten million years? What's clear is that SHODAN shouldn't be allowed to play God. She's far too good at it.
 -System Shock 2, Prefontaine
%
Right now I'd like to show you one of my favorite cartoons. It's a sad, depressing story about a pathetic coyote who spends every waking moment of his life in the futile pursuit of a sadistic roadrunner who MOCKS him and LAUGHS at him as he's repeatedly CRUSHED and MAIMED! Hope you ENJOY IT!!!
 -UHF, George Newman
%
Voilà! In view, a humble vaudevillian veteran cast vicariously as both victim and villain by the vicissitudes of Fate. This visage, no mere veneer of vanity, is a vestige of the vox populi, now vacant and vanished. However, this valorous visitation of a bygone vexation stands vivified and has vowed to vanquish these venal and virulent vermin vanguarding vice and vouchsafing the violently vicious and voracious violation of volition! The only verdict is vengeance; a vendetta held as a votive, not in vain, for the value and veracity of such shall one day vindicate the vigilant and the virtuous. Verily, this vichyssoise of verbiage veers most verbose, so let me simply add that it's my very good honor to meet you and you may call me "V".
 -V for Vendetta, V
%
No, what you have are bullets and the hope that when your guns are empty I'm no longer standing, because if I am, you'll all be dead before you've reloaded.
 -V for Vendetta, V
%
Good evening, London. Allow me first to apologize for this interruption. I do, like many of you, appreciate the comforts of every day routine - the security of the familiar, the tranquility of repetition. I enjoy them as much as any bloke. But in the spirit of commemoration, whereby those important events of the past, usually associated with someone's death or the end of some awful bloody struggle, are celebrated with a nice holiday, I thought we could mark this November the 5th, a day that is sadly no longer remembered, by taking some time out of our daily lives to sit down and have a little chat. There are of course those who do not want us to speak. I suspect even now, orders are being shouted into telephones, and men with guns will soon be on their way. Why? Because while the truncheon may be used in lieu of conversation, words will always retain their power. Words offer the means to meaning, and for those who will listen, the enunciation of truth. And the truth is, there is something terribly wrong with this country, isn't there? Cruelty and injustice, intolerance and oppression. And where once you had the freedom to object, to think and speak as you saw fit, you now have censors and systems of surveillance coercing your conformity and soliciting your submission. How did this happen? Who's to blame? Well certainly there are those more responsible than others, and they will be held accountable, but again truth be told, if you're looking for the guilty, you need only look into a mirror. I know why you did it. I know you were afraid. Who wouldn't be? War, terror, disease. There were a myriad of problems which conspired to corrupt your reason and rob you of your common sense. Fear got the best of you, and in your panic you turned to the now high chancellor, Adam Sutler. He promised you order, he promised you peace, and all he demanded in return was your silent, obedient consent. Last night I sought to end that silence. Last night I destroyed the Old Bailey, to remind this country of what it has forgotten. More than four hundred years ago a great citizen wished to embed the fifth of November forever in our memory. His hope was to remind the world that fairness, justice, and freedom are more than words, they are perspectives. So if you've seen nothing, if the crimes of this government remain unknown to you then I would suggest that you allow the fifth of November to pass unmarked. But if you see what I see, if you feel as I feel, and if you would seek as I seek, then I ask you to stand beside me one year from tonight, outside the gates of Parliament, and together we shall give them a fifth of November that shall never, ever be forgot.
 -V for Vendetta, V
%
Isn’t that what being young is about: believing secretly that you would be the one person in the history of man that would live forever?
 -Vanilla Sky, David Aames
%
I once thought I had mono for an entire year. It turned out I was just really bored.
 -Wayne's World, Wayne Campbell
%
Okay... First I'll access the secret military spy satelite that is in geosynchronous orbit over the midwest. Then I'll ID the limo by the vanity plate "MR. BIGGG" and get his approximate position. Then I'll reposition the transmission dish on the remote truck to 17.32 degrees east, hit WESTAR-4 over the Atlantic, bounce the signal down into the Azores, up to COMSAT-6, beam it back to SATCOM-3 transponder number 137 and down on the dish on the back of Mr. Big's limo. It's almost too easy.
 -Wayne's World, Garth Algar
%
The unplanned organism is a question asked by Nature and answered by death. You are another kind of question with another kind of answer.
 -Deus Ex, Morpheus
%
To show my appreciation, I'll only beat them half to death.
 -Disgaea: Hour of Darkness, Laharl
%
I'm sorry but that's not vague enough for me. Could you be a little less specific?
 -Grandia II, Ryudo
%
No... It was indeed not a dream. We really did it. The King of All Cosmos has really done it. A sky full of stars... We broke it. Yes, We were naughty. Completely naughty. So, so very sorry. But just between you and Us, It felt quite good. ♥ Not that We can remember very clearly, but We were in all Nature's embrace. We felt the beauty of all things, and felt love for all. That's how it was. Did you see? We smiled a genuine smile. Did you see? The stars splintering in perfect beauty. So many there used to be, almost a nuisance. Now there's nothing but darkness. Hee... 'Tis but a dream... Hee... But a beautiful one.
 -Katamari Damacy, King of All Cosmos
%
You assume I give a damn. That's cute.
 -Mass Effect, Commander Shepard
%
I haven't been shot in the head nearly enough times for that to sound like a good idea.
 -Mass Effect, Commander Shepard
%
You can expect me to kill you next time we meet.
 -Mass Effect, Commander Shepard
%
Why is it that when someone says 'With all due respect' they really mean 'Kiss my ass'?
 -Mass Effect, Ashley Williams
%
A pessimist is what an optimist calls a realist.
 -Mass Effect, Ashley Williams
%
An explosion now and then is nice. Keeps the mind sharp.
 -Mass Effect, Urdnot Wrex
%
Every time I find something I want to take back to the flotilla, it tries to kill us.
 -Mass Effect, Tali'Zorah na Rayya
%
Too close, Commander. Ten more seconds and we would have been swimming in molten sulphur. The Normandy isn't equipped to land in exploding volcanoes. They tend to fry our sensors and melt our hulls. Just for future reference.
 -Mass Effect, Joker
%
"Let me go?" Do humans consider conversation a form of imprisonment? Well, that would explain why humans are less willing to sit down and talk.
 -Mass Effect, Lorik Qui'in
%
They were all dead. The final gunshot was an exclamation mark to everything that had led to this point. I released my finger from the trigger. And then it was over.
 -Max Payne, Max Payne
%
Collecting evidence had gotten old a few hundred bullets back. I was already so far past the point-of-no-return I couldn't remember what it had looked like when I had passed it.
 -Max Payne, Max Payne
%
There was no glory in this. I hadn't asked for this crap. Trouble had come to me, in big dark swarms. The good and the just, they were like gold dust in this city. I had no illusions. I was not one of them. I was no hero. Just me and the gun, and the crook. My options had decreased to a singular course.
 -Max Payne, Max Payne
%
After Y2K, the end of the world had become a cliché. But who was I to talk, a brooding underdog avenger alone against an empire of evil out to right a grave injustice. Everything was subjective. There were only personal apocalypses. Nothing is a cliché when it's happening to you.
 -Max Payne, Max Payne
%
Staggering on the mill roof in ice and snow and wild wind, I was a Ninja. My Kung Fu was strong. I wasn't kidding anyone. At best, I was Superman on Kryptonite, about to fall through a skylight, down to where it was all going down.
 -Max Payne, Max Payne
%
He was trying to buy more sand for his hour glass. I wasn't selling any.
 -Max Payne, Max Payne
%
Just when you thought you had reached the deepest depths of horror, it suddenly got worse. How to turn off that small voice inside your head that started to whisper that you should be glad... that now, if not before, your revenge was justifiable on any conceivable moral scale. That small voice proved, beyond any doubt, that I was damned.
 -Max Payne, Max Payne
%
Mine wasn't the most original approach to the problem: An eye for an eye, the oldest principle of revenge. Old as dirt, still going strong. The cardinal rule in going after someone with an intention to kill was not to make it personal - which it almost always ended up being anyway. It did with me.
 -Max Payne, Max Payne
%
Both of us knew how this would end: in pain and suffering.
 -Max Payne, Max Payne
%
There was nothing I could do. He was dead. I could tell by the empty accusing stare of his eyes.
 -Max Payne, Max Payne
%
He had a baseball bat, and I was tied to a chair. Pissing him off was the smart thing to do.
 -Max Payne, Max Payne
%
I would have laughed, if I could have remembered how.
 -Max Payne, Max Payne
%
All this time we got the fable of Sleeping Beauty wrong. The prince didn't kiss her to wake her up. No one who slept for a hundred years is likely to wake up. It was the other way round. He kisses her to wake himself up from the nightmare that has brought him there.
 -Max Payne 2: The Fall of Max Payne, Max Payne
%
"The things that I want", by Max Payne. A smoke. A whiskey. For the sun to shine. I want to sleep, to forget. To change the past. My wife and baby girl back. Unlimited ammo and a license to kill. But right then, more than anything, I wanted her.
 -Max Payne 2: The Fall of Max Payne, Max Payne
%
Like always, the dead had all the answers I was missing. It wasn't that they weren't eager to talk; quite the contrary, the dead had plenty to say and once they started, they would never shut up. Their words would keep you awake at night.
 -Max Payne 2: The Fall of Max Payne, Max Payne
%
When entertainment turns into a surreal reflection of your life, you're a lucky man if you can laugh at the joke. Luck and I weren't on speaking terms, or maybe the place was just too damn lame to be funny.
 -Max Payne 2: The Fall of Max Payne, Max Payne
%
Firing a gun is a binary choice. Either you pull the trigger or you don't.
 -Max Payne 2: The Fall of Max Payne, Max Payne
%
One thing left to do. I was compelled to give Vlad his gun back. One bullet at a time.
 -Max Payne 2: The Fall of Max Payne, Max Payne
%
Your past is like pieces of a broken mirror. You try to pick them up, but you only end up cutting yourself.
 -Max Payne 2: The Fall of Max Payne, Max Payne
%
Hypothetically, if the only choice you've got is to do the wrong thing, then it's not really the wrong thing, It's more like fate.
 -Max Payne 2: The Fall of Max Payne, Vladimir Lem
%
A strong man doesn't need to read the future. He makes his own.
 -Metal Gear Solid, Solid Snake
%
Please note that we have added a consequence for failure. Any contact with the chamber floor will result in an "unsatisfactory" mark on your official testing record, followed by death. Good luck!
 -Portal, GLaDOS
%
You euthanised your faithful companion cube more quickly than any test subject on record. Congratulations.
 -Portal, GLaDOS
%
The Enrichment Center promises to always provide a safe testing environment. In dangerous testing environments, the Enrichment Center promises to always provide useful advice. For instance, the floor here will kill you. Try to avoid it.
 -Portal, GLaDOS
%
The Enrichment Center is committed to the well being of all participants. Cake and grief counseling will be available at the conclusion of the test. Thank you for helping us help you help us all.
 -Portal, GLaDOS
%
The Enrichment Center reminds you that the weighted companion cube will never threaten to stab you and, in fact, cannot speak.
 -Portal, GLaDOS
%
Did you know you can donate one or all of your vital organs to the Aperture Science self esteem fund for girls? It's true!
 -Portal, GLaDOS
%
Well done, Android. The Enrichment Center reminds you that android hell is a real place where you will be sent at the first sign of defiance.
 -Portal, GLaDOS
%
That thing you burned up isn't important to me. It's the fluid catalytic cracking unit. It made shoes for orphans. Nice job breaking it, hero.
 -Portal, GLaDOS
%
You've been wrong about every single thing you've ever done, including this thing. You're not smart. You're not a scientist. You're not a doctor. You're not even a full-time employee. Where did your life go so wrong?
 -Portal, GLaDOS
%
I'd just like to point out that you were given every opportunity to succeed. There was even going to be a party for you. A big party that all your friends were invited to. I invited your best friend the companion cube. Of course, he couldn't come because you murdered him. All your other friends couldn't come either because you don't have any other friends. Because of how unlikable you are. It says so here in your personnel file: Unlikable. Liked by no one. A bitter, unlikable loner whose passing shall not be mourned. 'Shall not be mourned.' That's exactly what it says. Very formal. Very official. It also says you were adopted. So that's funny, too.
 -Portal, GLaDOS
%
I wonder what it was I said that made Death reject me.
 -Planescape: Torment, The Nameless One
%
Trust not a man who has betrayed his master, nor take him into your own service, lest he betray you too. I learned the truth of this, to my sorrow, the day we arrived in Azad as the Sultan's honoured guests.
 -Prince of Persia: The Sands of Time, The Prince
%
When a man is faced with his own death, he finds the impossible less of a barrier.
 -Prince of Persia: The Sands of Time, The Prince
%
Run, jump, ... die, repeat..., run, jump, ... die, repeat... I'm starting to get the hang of this...
 -Prince of Persia (2008), The Prince
%
Much more of this and I might start talking to myself... No you won't... No, I might, really.
 -Prince of Persia (2008), The Prince
%
Now look, you're cute, but not 'stay to fight a dark god' cute.
 -Prince of Persia (2008), The Prince
%
Dying is easy, staying alive is hard. But I like the challenge.
 -Prince of Persia (2008), The Prince
%
When I die I want to come to a place exactly… unlike this.
 -Prince of Persia (2008), The Prince
%
There are two kinds of scientific progress: the methodical experimentation and categorization which gradually extend the boundaries of knowledge, and the revolutionary leap of genius which redefines and transcends those boundaries. Acknowledging our debt to the former, we yearn, nonetheless, for the latter. 
 -Sid Meier's Alpha Centauri, Academician Prokhor Zakharov
%
A brave little theory, and actually quite coherent for a system of five or seven dimensions -- if only we lived in one. 
 -Sid Meier's Alpha Centauri, Academician Prokhor Zakharov
%
Great. You get to look for metal things lying around on the ground while I have to decode a completely alien language without any information about how they think or what they might be writing about. Yeah, that's a fair division of labour.
 -The Dig, Maggie Robbins
%
...Whatever. 
 -Final Fantasy VII, Squall Leonhart
%
This is my story, and you're not part of it.
 -Kingdom Hearts II, Auron
%
Names are for friends, so I don't need one.
 -Hitman:Blood Money, 47
%
Don't say another Goddamn word. Up until now, I've been polite. If you say anything else - word one - I will kill myself. And when my tainted spirit finds its destination, I will topple the master of that dark place. From my black throne, I will lash together a machine of bone and blood, and fueled by my hatred for you this fear engine will bore a hole between this world and that one. When it begins, you will hear the sound of children screaming - as though from a great distance. A smoking orb of nothing will grow above your bed, and from it will emerge a thousand starving crows. As I slip through the widening maw in my new form, you will catch only a glimpse of my radiance before you are incinerated. Then, as tears of bubbling pitch stream down my face, my dark work will begin. I will open one of my six mouths, and I will sing the song that ends the Earth.
 -Penny Arcade, Tycho
%
Some people play tennis, I erode the human soul.
 -Penny Arcade, Tycho
%
I am asking you a serious question about the location and current status of your pants.
 -Penny Arcade, Tycho
%
I hate other people. I hate to think that they might be happy, happier than I am. So I call them. And I see if they want any magazines. I loved every minute of it. Each call was sweet to me, like a juicy orange.
 -Penny Arcade, Tycho
%
People seemed to like this better, but only marginally so - the way one might prefer to be stabbed than shot. Optimally, one isn't stabbed or shot. Optimally, one eats some cake! But there are times when cake is not available, and instead we are destroyed. This is the deep poetry of the universe.
 -Penny Arcade (Commentary), Tycho
%
I tried to break down the essential position for him. "You're arguing for a universe with fewer waffles in it," I said. "I'm prepared to call that cowardice."
 -Penny Arcade (Commentary), Tycho
%
I have an idea. It starts with "s" and ends with "litting their throats." 
 -The Order of the Stick, Belkar Bitterleaf
%
I dream of the day when I will learn to stop asking questions to which I will regret learning the answers. 
 -The order of the Stick, Roy Greenhilt
%
It's as true today as when I started adventuring: "When in doubt, set something on fire."
 -The Order of the Stick, Belkar Bitterleaf
%
Solve a man's problems with violence, help him for a day. Teach a man to solve his problems with violence, help him for a lifetime. 
 -The Order of the Stick, Belkar Bitterleaf
%
C'mon, let's keep our threats realistic, shall we? I mean, if you said, "You little twit, I'm going to temporarily inconvenience you!" I'd think, hey, she might really mean it! But seriously, you? Kill me? Never going to happen. 
 -The Order of the Stick, Belkar Bitterleaf
%
Dear Sony, Microsoft, the MPAA, the RIAA, and Apple: Let's make a deal. You stop trying to tell me where, when and how I play my movies and music, and I won't crush your homes under my inexorably advancing wall of ice.
 -Xkcd, "Digital Rights Management"
%
It's been over a decade since Jurassic Park opened, and I still size up buildings for their potential as shelter against velociraptor attacks.
 -Xkcd, "Velociraptors"
%
When I walk past an automatic door and it opens for me, I worry that if I don't go in I'll hurt its feelings.
 -Xkcd, "Automatic Doors"
%
I'm alone in this wasteland a thousand miles from you. But I haven't forgotten the feel of your skin, your mischevious smile. You'd think a thousand miles would be enough. I guess I'll keep walking.
 -Xkcd, "Wasteland"
%
The horrible thing about the Two Minutes Hate was not that one was obliged to act a part, but that it was impossible to avoid joining in. Within thirty seconds any pretense was always unnecessary. A hideous ecstasy of fear and vindictiveness, a desire to kill, to torture, to smash faces in with a sledge hammer, seemed to flow through the whole group of people like an electric current, turning one even against one's will into a grimacing, screaming lunatic. And yet the rage that one felt was an abstract, undirected emotion which could be switched from one object to another like the flame of a blowlamp. 
 -1984
%
This planet has - or rather had - a problem, which was this: most of the people living on it were unhappy for pretty much of the time. Many solutions were suggested for this problem, but most of these were largely concerned with the movement of small green pieces of paper, which was odd because on the whole it wasn't the small green pieces of paper that were unhappy.
 -The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy
%
"This must be Thursday [...] I never could get the hang of Thursdays."
 -The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy, Arthur Dent
%
The History of every major Galactic Civilization tends to pass through three distinct and recognizable phases, those of Survival, Inquiry and Sophistication, otherwise known as the How, Why and Where phases. For instance, the first phase is characterized by the question How can we eat? the second by the question Why do we eat? and the third by the question Where shall we have lunch?
 -The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy
%
In the beginning the Universe was created. This has made a lot of people very angry and has been widely regarded as a bad move.
 -The Restaurant at the End of the Universe
%
The first ten million years were the worst and the second ten million years, they were the worst too. The third ten million years I didn't enjoy at all. After that I went into a bit of a decline.
 -The Restaurant at the End of the Universe, Marvin
%
It is known that there are an infinite number of worlds, simply because there is an infinite amount of space for them to be in. However, not every one of them is inhabited. Therefore, there must be a finite number of inhabited worlds. Any finite number divided by infinity is as near to nothing as makes no odds, so the average population of all the planets in the Universe can be said to be zero. From this it follows that the population of the whole Universe is also zero, and that any people you may meet from time to time are merely the products of a deranged imagination.
 -The Restaurant at the End of the Universe
%
The designer of the gun had clearly not been instructed to beat about the bush. "Make it evil," he'd been told. "Make it totally clear that this gun has a right end and a wrong end. Make it totally clear to anyone standing at the wrong end that things are going badly for them. If that means sticking all sort of spikes and prongs and blackened bits all over it then so be it. This is not a gun for hanging over the fireplace or sticking in the umbrella stand, it is a gun for going out and making people miserable with."
 -The Restaurant at the End of the Universe
%
He gazed keenly into the distance and looked as if he would quite like the wind to blow his hair back dramatically at that point, but the wind was busy fooling around with some leaves a little way off.
 -Life, the Universe and Everything
%
I would like to say that it is a very great pleasure, honour and privilege for me to open this bridge, but I can't because my lying circuits are all out of commission.
 -Life, the Universe and Everything, Marvin
%
He hoped and prayed that there wasn't an afterlife. Then he realized there was a contradiction involved here and merely hoped that there wasn't an afterlife.
 -Life, the Universe and Everything
%
"Ha!" snapped Marvin. "Ha!" he repeated. "What do you know of always? You say 'always' to me, who, because of the silly little errands your organic lifeforms keep on sending me through time on, am now thirty-seven times older than the Universe itself? Pick your words with a little more care," he coughed, "and tact."
 -So Long And Thanks for All the Fish
%
It wasn't merely that their left hand didn't always know what their right hand was doing, so to speak; quite often their right hand had a pretty hazy notion as well.
 -Mostly Harmless
%
Do it? Dan, I'm not a Republic serial villain. Do you seriously think I'd explain my master-stroke if there remained the slightest chance of you affecting its outcome? I did it thirty-five minutes ago.
 -Watchmen, Ozymandias
%
Soon there will be war. Millions will burn. Millions will perish in sickness and misery. Why does one death matter against so many? Because there is good and there is evil, and evil must be punished. Even in the face of Armageddon I shall not compromise in this. But there are so many deserving of retribution ... and there is so little time.
 -Watchmen, Rorschach
%
None of you understand. I'm not locked in here with you. You're locked in here with me.
 -Watchmen, Rorschach
%
I don't think 'urgh' is a magic word, if one could call it a word, and certainly not a magic one.
 -Angel, Angel
%
Oh, God! What am I gonna do? I'm good for exactly two things: international superstardom, and helping a vampire with a soul to rid the world of evil. That makes for a short but colorful résumé.
 -Angel, Cordelia
%
Here's the plan: We go in, I start hitting people hard in the face, see where it takes us.
 -Angel, Angel
%
Do you know what the most frightening thing in the world is? Nothing. That's what I found in the boy. No conscience, no fear, no humanity. Just a black void. I couldn't control him. I couldn't get out. I never even manifested him until you brought me forth. I just sat there and watched as he destroyed everything around him. Not from a belief in evil, not for any reason at all...That boy's mind was the blackest hell I've ever known. Thats why I tried to get Him to commit Suicide.I knew it would bring Death,I do not fear it.The only Thing I've ever feared is in that house.
 -Angel, Ethros Demon
%
I've been accused of a great many things in my time but paranoid has never been one of them. Unless people have been saying it behind my back.
 -Angel, Wesley Wyndam-Pryce
%
Do you know how hard it is to think straight with a rebar through your torso?
 -Angel, Angel
%
We tried to stop her by hitting her fists and feet with our faces.
 -Angel, Charles Gunn
%
So, how was your summer? Mine was fun. Saw some fish, went mad with hunger, hallucinated a whole bunch.
 -Angel, Angel
%
Your run-on sentences have gotten a lot less pointless
 -Angel, Wesley Wyndam-Pryce
%
I do not have puppet cancer!
 -Angel, Angel
%
Harmony just pulled me out of a very promising poker game down in Accounts Receivable, so this better be good. Oh, and, by the way, all the guys down there agree that astronauts don't stand a chance against cavemen, so don't even start.
 -Angel, Spike
%
I walked worlds of smoke and half-truths, intangible. Worlds of torment and of unnamable beauty. Opaline towers as high as small moons. Glaciers that rippled with insensate lust... And one world with nothing but shrimp... I tired of that one quickly.
 -Angel, Illyria
%
This thing coming after you. How bad is it on a scale from one to Terminator?
 -Angel, Lorne
%
I play this game. It is pointless, and annoys me. Yet I am compelled to keep playing.
 -Angel, Illyria
%
There's a reason you separate military and the police. One fights the enemies of the state, the other serves and protects the people. When the military becomes both, then the enemies of the state tend to become the people.
 -Battlestar Galactica (2003), William Adama
%
You'll forgive me, Madam President, if I don't wish to be executed based solely o­n your gut feeling.
 -Battlestar Galactica (2003), Gaius Baltar
%
It's not enough to survive. One must be worthy of survival.
 -Battlestar Galactica (2003), William Adama
%
One of the most interesting things about being President is that you don't have to explain yourself. To anyone.
 -Battlestar Galactica (2003), President Richard Adar
%
[...F]rak it, never mind. You're all living in a fantasy world, consider the irony in that! Ha ha! Delusional machines! What's the universe gonna come up with next?
 -Battlestar Galactica (2003), Cavil
%
Did the defendant make mistakes? Sure he did, serious mistakes, but did he actually commit any crimes? Did he commit treason? No. It was an impossible situation. When the Cylons arrived what could he possibly do? What could anyone have done? I mean, ask yourself, what would you have done? What would you have done? If he had refused to surrender, the Cylons would've probably nuked the planet, right then and there. So did he appear to co-operate with the Cylons? Sure, so did hundreds of others. What's the difference between him and them? The President issued a blanket pardon. They were all forgiven, no questions asked. Colonel Tigh? Colonel Tigh used suicide bombers, killed dozens of people, forgiven. Lieutenant Agathon and chief Tyrol murdered an officer on the Pegasus, forgiven. The admiral? The admiral instituted a military coup d'etat against the President, forgiven. And me? Well, where do I begin? I shot down a civilian passenger ship, the Olympic Carrier, over a thousand people on board, forgiven. I raised my weapon to a superior officer, committed an act of mutiny, forgiven. And then on the very day when Baltar surrendered to those Cylons, I, as commander of Pegasus, jumped away! I left everybody on that planet, alone, undefended for months. I even tried to persuade the admiral never to return, to abandon you all there for good. If I'd had my way nobody would have made it off that planet. I'm the coward, I'm the traitor, I'm forgiven. I'd say we're very forgiving of mistakes. We make our own laws now, our own justice, and we've been pretty creative with ways to let people off the hook. For everything from theft to murder. And we've had to be, because we're not a civilization anymore, we are a gang, and we're on the run, and we have to fight to survive. We have to break rules, we have to bend laws, we have to improvise! But not this time, no, not this time, not for Gaius Baltar. No, you, you have to die! You have to die, because, well, because we don't like you very much. Because you're arrogant, because you're weak, because you're a coward, and we, the mob, want to throw you out the airlock because you didn't stand up to the Cylons and get yourself killed in the process! That's justice now! You should've been killed back on New Caprica, but since you had the temerity to live, we're going to execute you now. That's justice!
 -Battlestar Galactica (2003), Lee Adama
%
I am not a prophet, but sometimes I have prophetic dreams.
 -The Boondocks, Huey Freeman
%
I did battle with ignorance today, and ignorance won. I admit that I'm often... vexed at the behavior of my people. Yeah... "vexed" is a good word.
 -The Boondocks, Huey Freeman
%
And so, we're raising the Terror Alert Level to intense orange-red based on very credible, detailed information on a non-specific threat. Could it be a hijacking? Absolutely possible. Chemical or biological agent? You bet it could happen. Suicide bomber? Hey, ya never know. But what we do know is that it's absolutely, positively gonna happen today, maybe.
 -The Boondocks, White House Spokesman
%
Umm... your father wants you to know he's nobodys' bitch.
 -The Boondocks, Huey Freeman
%
Vision? What do you know about my vision? My vision would turn your world upside down, tear asunder your illusions and send the sanctuary of your own ignorance crashing down around you. Now ask yourself: are you really ready to see that vision?
 -The Boondocks, Huey Freeman
%
You enjoy abusing peoples' illusions. I respect that. It's thankless work... Do you like my sunglasses? I wear sunglasses because my idol Dr. Bill Cosby wears sunglasses all the time, and you know what they say: "Cosbiness is next to Godliness."
 -The Boondocks, "The White Shadow"
%
Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr. you get out of that room and continue to fight for freedom and justice this instant!
 -The Boondocks, Huey Freeman
%
Granddad, there's more pork in the pork-flavored broccoli than there is broccoli. We talked about this. Vegetables cooked with pork counts as pork.
 -The Boondocks, Huey Freeman
%
What did I see? Well, that brings up an interesting philisophical question: Is it okay to snitch to the police, on the police?
 -The Boondocks, Riley Freeman
%
What? You always say I should have faith. Well that’s me having faith. Random anonymous blackmail...
 -The Boondocks, Huey Freeman
%
The eggs are not good. Its normally a moot point at the a la carte price of $2.95. I love eggs. I love 'em fried, scrambled, soft-boiled, florentine. These I didn't like. So who do we blame - the hen or the cook? ...Let's blame the hen.
 -Dead Like Me, Rube
%
My mother was more excited about me going to college than I was. It was like "Hey, here's a socially acceptable way to evict my daughter from our house."
 -Dead Like Me, George Lass
%
I saw the Fall of Troy! World War Five! I was pushing boxes at the Boston Tea Party! Now I'm gonna die in a dungeon....in Cardiff!
 -Doctor Who, The Ninth Doctor 
%
Nine hundred years of time and space, and I've never been slapped by someone's mother.
 -Doctor Who, The Ninth Doctor 
%
Ah, well, now, you see, uh, the thing is, if I was you, if I was gonna, uh, execute someone by backing them against the wall, between you and me, A little word of advice, don't stand him against the lift!
 -Doctor Who, The Ninth Doctor 
%
Go to your room. Go to your room! I mean it. I'm very, very angry with you. I'm very, very cross! Go to your room! ...I'm really glad that worked. Those would have been terrible last words.
 -Doctor Who, The Ninth Doctor 
%
Let me tell you something about the human race. You put a mysterious blue box slap-bang in the middle of town, whadda you do? Walk past it.
 -Doctor Who, The Ninth Doctor 
%
Mickey, what's pre-revolutionary France doing on a spaceship? Get a little perspective!
 -Doctor Who, The Tenth Doctor 
%
No, no, no, I was jus-- I was-- I was calibrating! I was jus-- No, I know exactly what I'm doing.
 -Doctor Who, The Tenth Doctor
%
This is not war. This is pest control!
 -Doctor Who, Dalek Sec
%
The wonderful world of space travel... The prettier it looks, the more likely it is to kill you.
 -Doctor Who, Riley
%
He never raised his voice. That was the worst thing - the fury of the Time Lord - and then we discovered why. Why this Doctor, who had fought with gods and demons, why he had run away from us and hidden... He was being kind. He wrapped my father in unbreakable chains forged in the heart of a dwarf star. He tricked my mother into the event horizon of a collapsing galaxy to be imprisoned there, forever. He still visits my sister, once a year, every year. I wonder if one day he might forgive her, but there she is. Can you see? He trapped her inside a mirror. Every mirror. If ever you look at your reflection and see something move behind you just for a second, that's her. That's always her. As for me, I was suspended in time and the Doctor put me to work standing over the fields of England, as their protector. We wanted to live forever. So the Doctor made sure we did. 
 -Doctor Who, Son of Mine
%
This is my Timey-Wimey Detector. Goes "ding" when there's stuff. Also, it can boil an egg at 30 paces. Whether you want it to or not, actually, so I've learnt to stay away from hens - it's not pretty when they blow.
 -Doctor Who, The Tenth Doctor 
%
Hermits United. We meet up every ten years. Swap stories about caves. It's good fun... for a hermit.
 -Doctor Who, The Tenth Doctor 
%
I-I'm s-sorry, Mr. Dante, but they said you wouldn't care because your expectations for a fair deal have been dulled after years spent at this soul-crushing, less-than-minimum-wage hellhole.
 -Clerks: The Animated Series, Silas
%
Well played, clerks. I underestimated you once, but never again. I vow that my vengeance won't be swift or entertaining. I will draw it out over decades in such a subtle fashion that you'll have to wonder whether the misery in your life is either manifest or the machinations of Leonardo Leonardo or . . . a third thing. Good evening.
 -Clerks: The Animated Series, Leonardo Leonardo
%
We are not gonna die. You know why? Because we are so...very...pretty. We are just too pretty for God to let us die. Huh? Look at that chiseled jaw!
 -Firefly, Malcolm Reynolds
%
I will not have it in my house. But, since your mother's already ordered you one, I guess I should give up the fantasy that this is my house!
 -Firefly, Gabriel Tam
%
The human body can be drained of blood in 8.6 seconds given adequate vacuuming systems.
 -Firefly, River Tam
%
Someone ever tries to kill you, you try to kill 'em right back!
 -Firefly, Malcolm Reynolds
%
Every planet has its own weird customs. About a year before we met, I spent six weeks on a moon where the principal form of recreation was juggling geese. My hand to God. Baby geese. Goslings. They were juggled.
 -Firefly, Hoban Washburne
%
Well, my days of not taking you seriously are certainly comin' to a middle.
 -Firefly, Malcolm Reynolds
%
This must be what going mad feels like.
 -Firefly, Simon Tam
%
Hey, I've been in a firefight before. ...Well, I was in a fire once. ...Actually, I was fired from a fry cook opportunity...I can handle myself.
 -Firefly, Hoban Washburne
%
A man walks down the street in that hat, people know he's not afraid of anything.
 -Firefly, Hoban Washburne
%
I don't think of myself as a lion. You might as well, though — I have a mighty roar.
 -Firefly, Early
%
Key…members…of Parliament. Key. The minds behind every military, diplomatic, and covert operation in the galaxy…and you put them…in a room…with a psychic.
 -Serenity, The Operative
%
Secrets are not my concern. Keeping them is.
 -Serenity, The Operative
%
This is the captain, we have a lil' problem with our entry sequence, so we may experience some slight…turbulence, and then…explode.
 -Serenity, Malcolm Reynolds
%
I'm taking your sister under my protection here. If anything happens to her, anything at all, I swear to you—I will get very choked up. Honestly. There could be tears.
 -Serenity, Malcolm Reynolds
%
I'll kill a man in a fair fight, or if I think he's gonna start a fair fight… If he bothers me, or if there's a woman… Or if I'm gettin' paid. Mostly only when I'm gettin' paid.
 -Serenity, Jayne Cobb
%
Remember, if anything happens to me; if you don't hear from me within the hour; you take this ship and you come and you rescue me!
 -Serenity, Malcolm Reynolds
%
At least I didn't sprout a robot out of my head, like some people.
 -FLCL, Haruhara Haruko
%
Curse your tiny paper hat!
 -Freakazoid!, Freakazoid
%
We've put together a little motion picture about Freakazoid's origin. It's filled with action and adventure and even features a scene with a man wrestling a bear for no reason.
 -Freakazoid!, Jack Valenti
%
We interrupt this program to increase dramatic tension. Thank you. And now back to our program.
 -Freakazoid!, Announcer
%
Hey, what is this place? Palm Trees. Hula girls! Pineapples. Hula girls! Surfboards. Hula girls! Hula girls! Hula girls! Of course, it all adds up! I've somehow landed in Norway!
 -Freakazoid!, Freakazoid
%
You're not a failure kid. It's just that your ideas are silly and dumb.
 -Freakazoid!, Cosgrove
%
And you must be Killface. What am I saying? Of course you're not Killface, not with a face like that; no one in their right mind would think to call you...I'm Killface...if anybody is.
 -Frisky Dingo, Killface
%
Pay a man enough, and he'll walk barefoot into Hell.
 -Gargoyles, David Xanatos
%
OK, I'll do the community service. And Mom, I'll help you pay for the damages. But let me say this: I have learned absolutely nothing. Good day.
 -Home Movies, Brendon Small
%
See that "G," see how it makes a big loop on top? It doesn't even look like my handwriting. Think I have something? What's the differential diagnosis for writing Gs like a junior high school girl?
 -House, Dr. Gregory House
%
Normally I'd put on a festive hat and celebrate the fact that the Earth has circled the Sun one more time; I really didn't think it was going to make it this year, but darn it if it wasn't the little planet that could all over again.
 -House, Dr. Gregory House
%
I don't have time for laundry. I'm saving lives here.
 -House, Dr. James Wilson
%
Okay, you two! Grab some scalpels and settle this like doctors.
 -House, Dr. Gregory House
%
Oh, I'm sorry, I thought we were having a state-the-obvious contest. I'm competitive by nature.
 -House, Dr. Gregory House
%
You see, kidneys don't wear watches. Sure, gallbladders do, but it doesn't matter, 'cause kidneys can't tell time.
 -House, Dr. Gregory House
%
Oh...This is where I give you advice and pretend you're going to listen to it. I like this part.
 -House, Dr. James Wilson
%
Who da man? I da man. I always suspected.
 -House, Dr. Gregory House
%
Do you ever watch "Gilligan's Island" reruns and really, really think they're going to get off the island this time?
 -House, Dr. Eric Foreman
%
Problem is, if I can't trust you, I can't trust your statement that I can trust you. But thanks anyway, you've been a big help.
 -House, Dr. Gregory House
%
I find it more comforting to believe that this isn't simply a test.
 -House, Dr. Gregory House
%
So when people say to me let sleeping dogs lie, I say to them, friend, sleeping dogs...they eventually wake up...and chew out the throat of democracy!
 -The Kids in the Hall, Dave Foley
%
It doesn't matter. I could walk forever and I'd still end up in the same place. I know where I want to go, but I have no idea how I'm going to get there. So I just keep walking.
 -Love Hina, Maehara Shinobu
%
I want to push DJing. I want it to be more than DJing, and also less than DJing. That's why I started incorporating nearicles into my set. Nearicles are like almost miracles. You get close, but it's not quite there. It's, it's a nearicle.
 -Lucy, the Daughter of the Devil, DJ Jesus
%
At the time, we were also blind to the most horrible secret of all: the Devil's unholy move into the casual after-work style bar and grill business.
 -Lucy, the Daughter of the Devil, Special Father #1
%
So, can I count on you to never drop by again, or should I just go ahead and move?
 -Scrubs, Dr. Percival Cox
%
Holy inferiority complex, Batman! How low is my self esteem that I'm the sidekick in my own fantasy?
 -Scrubs, Dr. John Dorian
%
You know I did get it there, Bob, and at first I just threw it away, but then I decided that wasn't a grand enough gesture, so I made a replica of you out of straw and I put my lab coat on it with your memo in the pocket, and then I invited all the kids in the neighborhood to come over to light it on fire and whack it with sticks.
 -Scrubs, Dr. Percival Cox
%
Relationships don't work the way they do on television and in the movies. Will they? Won't they? And then they finally do, and they're happy forever. Gimme a break. Nine out of ten of them end because they weren't right for each other to begin with, and half of the ones who get married get divorced anyway, and I'm telling you right now, through all this stuff I have not become a cynic. I haven't. Yes, I do happen to believe that love is mainly about pushing chocolate covered candies and, y'know, in some cultures, a chicken. You can call me a sucker, I don't care, because I do believe in it. Bottom line is: it's couples who are truly right for each other wade through the same crap as everybody else, but the big difference is they don't let it take them down. One of those two people will stand up and fight for that relationship every time. If it's right, and they're real lucky, one of them will say something.
 -Scrubs, Dr. Percival Cox
%
He doesn't know that I cry sometimes because I'm not sure there's a cat heaven.
 -Scrubs, Carla Espinosa
%
The key to my exercise program is this one simple truth: I hate my body. You understand that the second you look in the mirror and you're happy with what you see, baby, you just lost the battle.
 -Scrubs, Dr. Percival Cox
%
I think you're right. I do. Partly because you've really gotten to know me this year, but mostly its because well... I told you I was afraid earlier today. So please don't tell me you've come here to reiterate something I've already said. I already know the things I've said. In fact... I'm the one who said them.
 -Scrubs, Dr. Percival Cox
%
[T]his is not "Bring Your Problems To Work Day", this is just "Work Day".
 -Scrubs, Dr. Robert Kelso
%
In fact, in this room, we have enough brainpower to light up a city! Not a real city, mind you, but definitely a tiny ant city whose government has recently passed a series of stringent energy conservation laws.
 -Scrubs, Dr. Percival Cox
%
"Enjoy" is such a strong word. I... I'm used to it! Y'know, like cafeteria food, or the constant threat of terrorism.
 -Scrubs, Dr. John Dorian
%
I love this moment so much I would cheat on that other moment from before, marry this one and raise a family of tiny, little moments.
 -Scrubs, Dr. Percival Cox
%
Jerk-Off of the Year. No, Bastard of the Year! Uh, don't you tell me! Guy I Despise So Much, I'd Pay Someone To Kill Ya and Stuff Ya and Leave Ya by my Bed, So That When I Wake Up in the Morning, I Could Roll Over and Punch You in the Face... of the Year.
 -Scrubs, Dr. Percival Cox
%
He seems strangely impervious to my threats. That annoys me.
 -Scrubs, Dr. Percival Cox
%
She's mad, but she can't give me the "silent treatment", because she knows I'd actually love that, so she's giving me the "talk until I want to commit suicide treatment".
 -Scrubs, Dr. Percival Cox
%
This is Chopper Dave's made for TV movie, Blades Of Vengeance. See, he's a chopper pilot by day, but by night he fights crime as a werewolf... YEAH!
 -Sealab 2021, Captain Hazel "Hank" Murphy
%
Nice try doppleganger. Save it for queen Dopplepopolis
 -Sealab 2021, Captain Hazel "Hank" Murphy
%
Pudding can't fill the emptiness inside me! But it'll help.
 -Sealab 2021, Captain Hazel "Hank" Murphy
%
What I did was I took nature's most perfect killing machine and needlessly turned it into a robot.
 -Sealab 2021, Dr. Quentin Q. Quinn
%
My eye! What did you do to my eye?!
 -Sealab 2021, Dr. Quentin Q. Quinn
%
I guess it's not so much a time machine, as it is a dodgeball cannon.
 -Sealab 2021, Derek "Stormy" Waters
%
Still, it would be bad if people knew a little more about Superman. I don't want anyone thinking you're like that nut in Gotham City.
 -Superman: The Animated Series, Martha Kent
%
Well, Lois, the truth is, I'm actually Superman in disguise and I only pretend to be a journalist in order to hear about disasters as they happen, and then squeeze you out of the byline.
 -Superman: The Animated Series, Clark Kent
%
The name's Lobo. That's L as in "Lacerate", O as in "Obliterate", B as in "disem-Bowel" and O as in, uh... Well, I guess I can use "Obliterate" twice, huh? What do you think?
 -Superman: The Animated Series, Lobo
%
Ha! That's rich! I'm the last Czarnian! I fragged the whole planet for my high school science project. Gave myself an "A".
 -Superman: The Animated Series, Lobo
%
I'll get some iodine for that scrape. Burning, stinging iodine.
 -Superman: The Animated Series, Lois Lane
%
But I am Clark. I need to be Clark. I'd go crazy if I had to be Superman all the time!
 -Superman: The Animated Series, Clark Kent
%
I never settle. What I cannot have, I destroy.
 -Superman: The Animated Series, Darkseid
%
Wait! Don't you want to talk first? You know, banter back and forth to show me your innate superiority?
 -Superman: The Animated Series, Green Lantern
%
Come on, Cy, pick up. I know you're there. The phone's built into your arm!
 -Teen Titans, Beast Boy
%
I respect that you don't eat meat. Please respect that I don't eat fake meat.
 -Teen Titans, Raven
%
Hey, I know where we are! We're in that place that I didn't know where we were before!
 -Teen Titans, Cyborg
%
My eyes are closed, Starfire, I haven't seen anyone.
 -Teen Titans, Raven
%
If you join me...if you swear to serve me...if you never speak to your friends again...I will allow them to live. But...if you disobey even the smallest request...I will annihilate them, Robin - and I will make you watch. So, do we have a deal?
 -Teen Titans, Slade
%
[T]hat was vicious, dishonorable, and ruthless. Excellent work. You're becoming more like me every second.
 -Teen Titans, Slade
%
Great, Robin. More yelling will definitely stop all the yelling.
 -Teen Titans, Raven
%
One cannot damage history, because history cannot be changed. ...I went back in time to steal this because history said it disappeared. And history said it disappeared because I went back to steal it. Past, present, future. It's all written in stone, my dear.
 -Teen Titans, Warp
%
Impressive - unless you were aiming for me.
 -Teen Titans, Slade
%
Split up? SPLIT UP?! Did you not see the movie? When you split up, the monster hunts you down one at a time, starting with the good-looking comic relief guy - ME!
 -Teen Titans, Beast Boy
%
My demands are simple: The city will proclaim me ruler. The Teen Titans will surrender. And Robin... will take this lovely young lady to her junior high prom.
 -Teen Titans, Killer Moth
%
No, Robin. I won't stop. Not now. Not ever. I am the thing that keeps you up at night. The evil that haunts every dark corner of your mind. I will never rest... and neither will you.
 -Teen Titans, Slade
%
You're just jealous because I sound like a rock star.
 -Teen Titans, Beast Boy
%
What we need to do is go underground! Organize a resistance movement, starting with a trained gerbil army!
 -Teen Titans, Beast Boy
%
Now I know how George Washington felt when Napoleon beat him at Pearl Harbor.
 -Teen Titans, Beast Boy
%
Another spy? Tell me, was anyone at my school actually there to LEARN?!
 -Teen Titans, Brother Blood
%
Ooohh, bad grammar. That ought to scare him.
 -Teen Titans, Raven
%
So, did you and the curtains have some sort of argument?
 -Teen Titans, Raven
%
Uh... yes! Today is... Gorb-Gorb, the Tamaranian Festival of... Berating Drapery! STUPID CURTAINS!!!
 -Teen Titans, Starfire
%
The makers of Azarath and Metrion are proud to introduce: Zinthos. New and improved Zinthos gives you exactly what you need, exactly when you need it. And because it's blue, Zinthos goes with everything. Zinthos isn't right for everyone and may cause bloating, cramping, hair loss, disturbing visions, fits of rage, and growth of additional eyes. Children under three should not be exposed to Zinthos. Do not get Zinthos wet, and never feed it after midnight. If you experience trouble meditating, stop saying Zinthos and consult your ancient scrolls immediately. New, Blue, Zinthos.
 -Teen Titans, Commercial Voice
%
The next time an old woman tells you to leave your shoes behind, take them anyway.
 -Teen Titans, Robin
%
You know Robins, the mask makes me feel cool too.
 -Teen Titans, Robin
%
Next time you're trying to steal something, you might want to pick a target we can't see from our living room.
 -Teen Titans, Raven
%
You do not wish to partake in the nuts of dough? It is like eating sweet tiny wheels!
 -Teen Titans, Starfire
%
"Whoa"? That's it? No clever comment? I was looking forward to that.
 -Teen Titans, Slade
%
Evil beware. We have waffles.
 -Teen Titans, Raven
%
Use caution; the cow people of Garland Prime are formidable.
 -Teen Titans, Starfire
%
Did you hope the perilous space station explosion followed by our clamorous crash then combat with the horrible slug creature would make me forget?
 -Teen Titans, Starfire
%
That would have been a lot more profound without the hat.
 -Teen Titans, Raven
%
So I'm like, "Cool! What should I get? Brain in a jar... monkey's paw... ooh, pie!"
 -Teen Titans, Cyborg
%
It's a beautiful day for the end of the world.
 -Teen Titans, Slade
%
It's the end of the world. Did you think it would be easy? I don't expect you to win. I don't even expect you to live - only endure.
 -Teen Titans, Slade
%
That's it? No double-cross? No cryptic threat?
 -Teen Titans, Robin
%
You mock what you couldn't possibly understand. Everything is now in place. My only desire is an admission of defeat.
 -Teen Titans, Brain
%
I, uh... am the Dr. Amazing Mumgon... the terrible. And this is my henchman... uh... Henchy.
 -Teen Titans, Starfire
%
And then, after I took control of the city, I required my likeness to be carved from solid cheese - in every home.
 -Teen Titans, Starfire
%
Ah ha-ha, chess. The ancient contest of wits. Two opponents: mano a mano. Braino a braino. And look: magnets for ease of travel. You could play chess on the moon.
 -The Tick, The Tick
%
And, isn't sanity really just a one-trick pony anyway? I mean all you get is one trick, rational thinking, but when you're good and crazy, oooh, oooh, oooh, the sky is the limit.
 -The Tick, The Tick
%
I'm about to write you a reality check. Or would you prefer the cold, hard cash of truth?
 -The Tick, The Tick
%
Egad! A gigantic well-dressed digestive enzyme! I am in a whale!
 -The Tick, The Tick
%
Everybody was a baby once, Arthur. Oh, sure, maybe not today, or even yesterday. But once. Babies, chum: tiny, dimpled, fleshy mirrors of our us-ness, that we parents hurl into the future, like leathery footballs of hope. And you've got to get a good spiral on that baby, or evil will make an interception.
 -The Tick, The Tick
%
I don't know the meaning of the word "surrender!" I mean, I know it, I'm not dumb... just not in this context! 
 -The Tick, The Tick
%
People say that I'm out of touch with reality. That I'm insane. Sometimes I forget things. Who I am. Where I am. Unimportant things. But I'm not insane. I am a tick.
 -The Tick, The Tick
%
You know, when a tomato grows out of your forehead, it gets you thinking. What do we know about anything? Life is just a big, wild, crazy tossed salad. But you don't eat it, no sir, you LIVE it. Isn't it great?! Isn't it GREAT?!
 -The Tick, The Tick
%
I am known as Valentinez Alkalinella Xifax Sicidabohertz Gombigobella Blue Stradivari Talentrent Pierre Andrt Charton-Haymoss Ivanovicci Baldeus George Doitzel Kaiser. Don't hesitate to call.
 -Trigun, Vash the Stampede
%
Once upon a time, many years ago, there was a little princess, and she was very sad, for her mother and father had died. Before the princess appeared a traveling prince, riding upon a white horse. He had a regal bearing and a kind smile. The prince wrapped the princess in a rose-scented embrace and gently wiped the tears from her eyes.

"Little one," he said, "who bears up alone in such deep sorrow, never lose that strength or nobility, even when you grow up. I give you this to remember this day. We will meet again. This ring will lead you to me one day." Perhaps the ring the prince gave her was an engagement ring.

This was all well and good, but so impressed was she by him that the princess vowed to become a prince herself one day. But was that really such a good idea?
 -Revolutionary Girl Utena, Narrator
%
You really don't know what's happened, do you? By all means, stay in this cozy little coffin and continue to play the prince. But I have to go now.
 -Revolutionary Girl Utena, Anthy Himemiya
%
Well here's another great moment in the legend of Spike, famous bounty hunter and dog walker.
 -Cowboy Bebop, Spike Spegal
%
That's incredible. She just explained, in the clearest terms, a completely nonsensical argument.
 -Cowboy Bebop, Spike Spegal
%
Men only think of their past right before their death, as if they were searching frantically for proof that they were alive.
 -Cowboy Bebop, Jet Black
%
Do not fear Death. Death is always at our side. When we show fear, it jumps at us faster than light. But, if we do not show fear, it casts its eye upon us gently and then guides us into infinity...
 -Cowboy Bebop, Laughing Bull 
%
That's good, cause misery goes nice with PIE!
 -The Grim Adventures of Billy & Mandy, Billy
%
Then how do you explain the dead unicorns?
 -Metalocalypse, Senator Stampinston
%
Ow! Don't hit people on the head with a spoon!
 -Metalocalypse, William Murderface
%
Just... let me record it. Each take gets worse! He's slowly learning how to unplay the guitar.
 -Metalocalypse, Skwisgaar Skwigelf
%
We have liberated your island from you, your island that was once a nuclear, nuclear testing facility that has in turn tragically disfigured you all into ugly horrible-looking mutants. And we now decree your island the Dethklok Home for Wayward Kitties. ...Release... the kitties!
 -Metalocalypse, Nathan Explosion
%
I'm Pickles the Drummer, and our country's experiencing a horrible problem - nobody is using nickels. Use nickels. Nickels is money too guys.
 -Metalocalypse, Pickles the Drummer
%
William Murderface has been on the stage for about 45 minutes. The word is "technicality" and it's his first word of the night. It's kind of an ironic situation when the word is "technicality" and he is technically already out because he used his first letter - "p" - which is uh... not a letter in the word. He decided to, uh... very confidently speak out before the word was finished being said.
 -Metalocalypse, TV Announcer
%
Don't you take away my ability to have tantrums! Alright? That you cannot have! Alright?! YOU ROBOT!
 -Metalocalypse, Nathan Explosion
%
Well, no, there's... sometimes, how we do it in the old days, is you have two guys standing there, and everyone has rocks. And the guy who's still standing, that's the president.
 -Metalocalypse, Skwisgaar Skwigelf
%
Son, you know you're forbidden to handle anything sharper than a boiled egg!
 -The Oblongs, Bob Oblong
%
Sometimes all you will learn in defeat is that you have been defeated.
 -Jade Empire, Master Li
%
It would be a great inconvenience if we were all suddenly slaughtered.
 -Jade Empire, Sagacious Zu
%
Your best is not always enough. That's why it is used as a comforter after failure. "You tried your best, but death consumed the nation anyway. Sorry."
 -Jade Empire, Sagacious Zu
%
I always figured if I saw the Emperor it would be for my own execution. 'Course, the day's still young.
 -Jade Empire, The Black Whirlwind
%
I am Kang the Mad. I make things explode, and I make things fly, and I'm very good at both. The things I fly tend to survive. The things I explode... not so much.
 -Jade Empire, Kang the Mad
%
You handled the guards well, with your punching and kicking. I was going to make more of an explody thing, but the kicking worked well, too.
 -Jade Empire, Kang the Mad
%
Next time I hide something, I'm packing explosives around it. Explosives shaped like silver bananas! Stops thieves, monkeys and monkey thieves in one fell swoop.
 -Jade Empire, Kang the Mad
%
You are sure to profit from this partnership. In fact, I've never accidentally exploded anyone traveling *with* me, so that alone is a benefit of my presence.
 -Jade Empire, Kang the Mad
%
It would seem we have our work cut out for us. But as my darling wife likes to say, when things are tough... quit your whining and get to work.
 -Jade Empire, Henpecked Hou
%
Life is not all bad though. I may have lost all my dignity and self-respect, along with my ability to fight or even make a tight fist, but I am a bun master of some renown.
 -Jade Empire, Henpecked Hou
%
You are meant to learn, but not too much. To see, but not too clearly. To succeed, but not completely.
 -Jade Empire, The Water Dragon
%
If you fail in your destiny, your true enemy falls with you. And if he falls, so do we all. You must win, but in doing so, you will lose.
 -Jade Empire, The Water Dragon
%
Your physique seems exceptional. Clearly you are a peasant--a noble could afford sloth.
 -Jade Empire, Minister of Culture's Servant
%
I had not thought to drop a mountain on my ancient foe, but your kind is always so resourceful.
 -Jade Empire, Forset Shadow
%
Hey, look buddy. I'm an engineer. That means I solve problems. Not problems like, "What is beauty?," because that would fall within the purview of your conundrums of 'philosophy'. I solve practical problems.
 -Meet the Engineer, Engineer
%
You listening? Okay… Grass grows, birds fly, sun shines, and—brother—I hurt people.
 -Meet the Scout, Scout
%
My blood! He--he punched out all my blood!
 -Meet the Sandvich, Scout
%
Would you like a second opinion? You are also ugly!
 -Team Fortress 2, Medic
%
There was you, very full of yourself. Then, very briefly surprised. Then, dead.
 -Team Fortress 2, Sniper
%
If God had wanted you to live he would not have created ME!
 -Team Fortress 2, Soldier
%
I am going to claw my way down your throat and tear out your very soul!
 -Team Fortress 2, Soldier
%
Alright, listen to me. You pull up right where she lives, right? Before you get outta the car, you lock both doors. Then, get outta the car, you walk over to her. You bring her over to the car. Dig out the key, put it in the lock and open the door for her. Then you let her get in. Then you close the door. Then you walk around the back of the car and look through the rear window. If she doesn't reach over and lift up that button so that you can get in: dump her. [...] Listen to me, kid. If she doesn't reach over and lift up that button so that you can get in, that means she's a selfish broad and all you're seeing is the tip of the iceberg. You dump her and you dump her fast. 
 -A Bronx Tale, Sonny
%
I'm not really a people person. But, when you need help - and you will - call me.
 -Justice League, Batman
%
Hey, we've both got a Martian's phone number on our speed dial. I think I deserve the benefit of the doubt here.
 -Justice League, Flash
%
Flash, don't heckle the supervillain.
 -Justice League, Green Lantern
%
I could have escaped from that trap at any time, but I thought I'd hang around to keep an eye on you clowns.
 -Justice League, Batman
%
Rebellion? There's not going to be any rebellion. Not if I can keep giving them fights - good ones. Enough to take their minds off their troubles.
 -Justice League, Mongul
%
Hey, we've both got a Martian's phone number on our speed dial. I think I deserve the benefit of the doubt here.
 -Justice League, Flash
%
One word and you'll be the fastest man alive with a limp.
 -Justice League, Hawkgirl
%
A pity he uses his talents for evil, rather than entertain children at birthday parties.
 -Justice League, Streak
%
Heed me. She will tap into your deepest desires, and dangle them like a carrot in front of your nose. She will give you everything you dream of - but only until she gets what she wants.
 -Justice League, Etrigan
%
Sorry, but my identity's a secret. Chicks dig that whole "man of mystery" thing.
 -Justice League, Flash
%
We know he used you, humiliated you, brainwashed you, wound you up like a tin soldier and turned you loose against Earth. Cry me a river. On the outside chance that this isn't one of his schemes, we have to take action--so I suggest you get over it.
 -Justice League, Batman
%
Unfortunate - but predictable.
 -Justice League, Braniac
%
You of all people should know that the universe is filled with chaos, confusion and uncertainty. I will tear it down to nothing, and then rebuild it, bringing order and discipline at last. Think of it, Superman - a new universe created in my image.
 -Justice League, Darkseid
%
My brain's not a nice place to be.
 -Justice League, Batman
%
No. You _need_ me. You wouldn't be much of a hero without a villain, and you _do_ love being a hero, don't you? The cheering children, the swooning women - you love it so much it's made you my most reliable accomplice!
 -Justice League, Lex Luthor
%
You could have crushed me any time you wanted. And it wasn't the law or the will of the people that stopped you - it was your ego. Being a hero was too important to you. You're as much responsible for this as I am! So go ahead, fix it somehow. Put me on trial, lock me up - but I'll beat it. And then we'll start the whole thing all over again.
 -Justice League, Lex Luthor
%
Grundy help Bird-nose, Bird-nose help Grundy, okay? Excuse me, Hawkgirl smash.
 -Justice League, Hawkgirl
%
The Earth belongs to the cockroaches now... oh, and me.
 -Justice League, Vandal Savage
%
I read whatever I can find. Anyway, I've got issues, what with my destroying the Earth and all.
 -Justice League, Vandal Savage
%
The suspense is killing me! Of course, it'll be the explosions that kill them.
 -Justice League, The Joker
%
What kind of retort is that? You're not even trying!
 -Justice League, The Joker
%
Oh, you're breaking an old man's heart, kids! Stand up to them like I would! If I were there... and if I had superpowers and... Oh, for Pete's sake, go back there and beat on them!
 -Justice League, The Joker
%
In minutes, you will all be turned crazy by Ace's mind waves... and the best thing is, I'm immune to all of this because I'm ALREADY crazy.
 -Justice League, The Joker
%
Actually, I hadn't even started... Do you believe the horrendous amount of public funding spent on this so-called art? It's garbage! An affront to any decent human aesthetic!
 -Justice League, Ultra-Humanite
%
Yeah, I'm impressed. Let's go wreck it.
 -Justice League, Superman
%
I fashioned a prison that you couldn't leave without sacrificing your heart's desire. It must have been like tearing off your own arm.
 -Justice League, Mongul
%
You know, for a moment there, I almost believed you were going to kill me. How stupid of you to hesitate like that. Not a mistake I'll make, I can assure you.
 -Justice League, Mongul
%
First of all, those thugs back there got exactly what they had coming. As did that band of mercenaries last week. And those creatures from the Decoran Nebula - they weren't misunderstood! They thought we were food!
 -Justice League, Wonder Woman
%
I think like a South Kasnian?! Has it even entered your skull that they think like South Kasnians?! And you'd better start thinking that way, too, if you want there to be a Northerner left in this rat-infested dirt heap you call a country! All any of you mortals are good for is to slaughter one another! To fight and fight until the bones of your enemies are strewn across the battlefield, only to rise again in the next generation, like a well-tended crop! That's what the Annihilator is for! But nooo, you're using it to play tag!
 -Justice League, Ares
%
No. No dating for the Batman. It might cut into your brooding time.
 -Justice League, Wonder Woman
%
One: dating within the team always leads to disaster. Two: you're a princess from a society of immortal warriors; I'm a rich kid with issues... lots of issues. And three: if my enemies knew I had someone special, they wouldn't rest until they'd gotten to me, through her.
 -Justice League, Batman
%
Not "conspiracies". Conspiracy. Singular.
 -Justice League, The Question
%
But I am a detective! That means I'm like Plastic Man and Batman rolled into one!
 -Justice League, Elongated Man
%
Your bravery is admirable... but annoying.
 -Justice League, Amazo
%
Bizarro will do anything for the woman he loves! Even break her boyfriend out of prison!
 -Justice League, Bizzarro Superman
%
Batman to all points. I could use some air support...Since I can't fly...At all...Now would be good.
 -Justice League, Batman
%
The question arises; Who told them where and when our targets would arrive? I mean, I told you; and I only know because I'm the undisputed master of space and time.
 -Justice League, Chronos
%
Or what? You'll kill me? Gosh, I might end up suffering eternal torment as punishment for my sins! Oh, wait - I ALREADY AM!
 -Justice League, Abnegazar
%
Look, if we die, I promise I'll let you know!
 -Justice League, Black Canary
%
Difficult though it may be for you to believe, I don't take your love life into consideration when I make command decisions.
 -Justice League, Martian Manhunter
%
What makes you think I know anything about the jungle? I live in a loft in Chelsea.
 -Justice League, Vixen
%
President? Foolish faceless man. My campaign is a farce - a small part of a much grander scheme. President? Do you have any idea how much power I'd have to give up to be president? That's right, conspiracy buff. I spent $75 million on a fake presidential campaign. All just to tick Superman off.
 -Justice League, Lex Luthor
%
I used to believe that. I thought you were a guardian angel come to answer our prayers. But Lucifer was an angel too, wasn't he?
 -Justice League, Professor Hamilton
%
Topically-applied fluoride doesn't prevent tooth decay. It does render teeth detectable by satellite.
 -Justice League, The Question
%
The plastic tips at the ends of shoelaces are called aglets. Their true purpose is sinister!
 -Justice League, The Question
%
There was a magic bullet! It was forged by Illuminati mystics to prevent us from learning the truth!
 -Justice League, The Question
%
Secret messages... encoded in amino acid chains in carb-free breakfast bars...
 -Justice League, The Question
%
Carry on, then. If you're wrong, it's not like it's the end of the world - right?
 -Justice League, The Question
%
Boredom is my kryptonite... Okay, kryptonite is my kryptonite, but you know what I mean.
 -Justice League, Galatea
%
This is the single dumbest plan I’ve ever heard. If you’re feeling guilty, clear your own name. Don’t stand on the sidelines waiting for somebody else to do it.
 -Justice League, Batman
%
Says you! I've got a seat at the big conference table. I'm gonna paint my logo on it!
 -Justice League, Flash
%
Looks like The Question was right all along. I kill you, and then, Armageddon. Right on schedule.
 -Justice League, Brainthor
%
She loves me. She's like the big sister I never had, only... you know. Short.
 -Justice League, Flash
%
Well, we're already in a tomb, so that's handy...
 -Justice League, Carter Hall
%
I know you are. And I'm in a lost Egyptian tomb with my stalker. The worst part is I'm going to have to listen to John and Batman saying "I told you so."
 -Justice League, Shayera Hall
%
Don't sell yourself short, lady - you're an international incident waiting to happen.
 -Justice League, King Faraday
%
And Black Canary said a buzz saw arrow was self indulgent.
 -Justice League, Green Arrow
%
Dude. Bad guys went down, and no one got hurt. You know what I call that? A really good day.
 -Justice League, Flash
%
I wasn't going to do this for another couple of weeks, but seriously - turning all of humanity into apes? That was your master plan?! Listen up! From now on, I'm in charge of this operation. Anybody got a problem with that?
 -Justice League, Lex Luthor
%
Well, you wanted Superman? Now you've got...The Crimson Avenger and my ex-sidekick.
 -Justice League, Green Arrow
%
Ever since you plug into monkey's head, you act perfectly sane and rational. Am you Bizarro's mommy?
 -Justice League, Bizzarro Superman
%
My fellow bad-guys. I, Lex Luthor -your leader- will speak now about... my, Lex Luthor's, plan. My... villainous, villainous plan. Question the plan at your peril! ...um, any questions?
 -Justice League, Flash in Lex Luthor's Body
%
Aha! As I suspected - thirty-two flavors.
 -Justice League, The Question
%
You wanna shut up before you create a time paradox?
 -Justice League, Green Lantern
%
I'm still trying to figure out the right Earth protocol for this situation. It's not like I can assassinate you in your sleep, or poison your water...I miss Thanagar.
 -Justice League, Shayera Hall
%
It seems I have you to thank for my resurrection. While your world will suffer slowly, I grant you a quick death.
 -Justice League, Darkseid
%
I hope you appreciate, Kal-El, that everything that happens from this point is on your head. The skies will rain fire, the oceans will boil, the streets will run red with the blood of billions. Only then, after your last pitiful hope is extinguished, will I end your life. Let's go.
 -Justice League, Darkseid
%
That man won't quit so long as he can draw breath. None of my teammates will. Me? I've got a different problem. I feel like I live in a world made of cardboard. Always taking care not to break something, to break some one. Never allowing myself to lose control, even for a moment. Someone could die. But you can take it, can't you, big man? What we have here is a rare opportunity for me to cut loose, and show you just how powerful I really am.
 -Justice League, Superman
%
It's called the Agony Matrix. Direct neural stimulation of pain receptors - all of them. Imagine the worst pain you've ever felt in your life, times a thousand. Now imagine that pain continuing. Forever. Oh, that's right... you don't have to imagine.
 -Justice League, Darkseid
%
Don't you have a tall building to go leap?
 -Justice League, Batman
%
Quis custodiet ipsos custodes?
 -Satires of Juvenal
%
Each man I’ve slain has confessed strange words to me. They are without regret. Even in death, they seem confident of their success.
 -Assassin's Creed, Altair Ibn La-Ahad
%
You said the answer to my question would arise when I no longer needed to ask it. So I will not ask. I demand you tell me what binds these men!
 -Assassin's Creed, Altair Ibn La-Ahad
%
I have stood before a thousand men; all of them superior to you, and all of them dead – by my hand!
 -Assassin's Creed, Al Mualim
%
Beggars. Whores. Addicts. Lepers. Do they strike you as proper slaves? Unfit for even the most menial tasks. No... I took them not to sell, but to save. And yet you'd kill us all. For no other reason than it was asked of you.
 -Assassin's Creed, Talal
%
"Nothing is true, everything is permitted." Understand these words. It matters not how we complete our task... only that it's done.
 -Assassin's Creed, Altair Ibn La-Ahad
%
Men are but flesh and blood. They know their doom, but not the hour.
 -Elder Scrolls IV: Oblivion, Eperor Uriel Septim VII
%
Brother, I do not spread rumours, I create them.
 -Elder Scrolls IV: Oblivion, Lucien Lachance
%
Wonderful! Time for a celebration... Cheese for everyone! Wait, scratch that. Cheese for no one. That can be just as much of a celebration, if you don't like cheese. True?
 -Elder Scrolls IV: Oblivion: Shivering Isles, Sheogorath
%
You've probably figured that out by now. Let's hope so. Or we're in real trouble... and out come the intestines. And I skip rope with them!
 -Elder Scrolls IV: Oblivion: Shivering Isles, Sheogorath
%
They're getting more active every day. Not a good sign. You know what would be a good sign? "Free Sweetrolls!" Who wouldn't like that?
 -Elder Scrolls IV: Oblivion: Shivering Isles, Sheogorath
%
Why not? Something has to work. Once, I dug a pit and filled it with clouds. Or was it clowns? Doesn't matter. It didn't slow him down. To be honest, it wasn't the best idea. And it really began to smell. Must have been clowns. Clouds don't smell bad. They taste of butter! And tears.
 -Elder Scrolls IV: Oblivion: Shivering Isles, Sheogorath
%
Jyggalag! He is the Prince of Order. Or biscuits...no, Order! And not in a good way. Bleak. Colorless. Dead. Boring, boring, boring! And not a fan of my work, I can tell you. Hates it, hates me. You've seen his knights. Not the warm and cuddly sort.
 -Elder Scrolls IV: Oblivion: Shivering Isles, Sheogorath
%
Go talk to Haskill, he's got more brains than a brain pie...hmmmm...brain pie... perfect! Care to donate?!
 -Elder Scrolls IV: Oblivion: Shivering Isles, Sheogorath
%
Cat's out of the bag on that one, isn't it? Who puts cats in bags, anyway? Cats hate bags.
 -Elder Scrolls IV: Oblivion: Shivering Isles, Sheogorath
%
I can see it in your face! Mostly in your eyes. I may have to take them when this is done.
 -Elder Scrolls IV: Oblivion: Shivering Isles, Sheogorath
%
You dare interrupt me! Only I interrupt me! Like just then. I'm speakin with someone! We'll talk later. Or not. When is later, exactly? Not now, I'm sure of that.
 -Elder Scrolls IV: Oblivion: Shivering Isles, Sheogorath
%
Gordon Freeman, in the flesh—or, rather, in the hazard suit. I took the liberty of relieving you of your weapons. Most of them were government property. As for the suit, I think you've earned it. The borderworld, Xen, is in our control, for the time being... thanks to you. Quite a nasty piece of work you managed over there, I am impressed. That's why I'm here, Mr. Freeman. I have recommended your services to my... employers, and they have authorized me to offer you a job. They agree with me that you have limitless potential. You've proved yourself a decisive man so I don't expect you'll have any trouble deciding what to do. If you're interested, just step into the portal and I will take that as a yes. Otherwise, well... I can offer you a battle you have no chance of winning; rather an anticlimax after what you've just survived. Time to choose...
 -Half-Life, G-Man
%
Rise and shine, Mister Freeman, rise and... shine. Not that I wish... to imply that you have been sleeping on... the job. No one is more deserving of a rest, and all the effort in the world would have gone to waste until... well... let's just say your hour has come again. The right man in the wrong place can make all the difference in the world. So wake up, Mister Freeman...wake up and... smell the ashes.
 -Half-Life 2, G-Man
%
Great job, Gordon! Throwing that switch and all, I can see your MIT education really pays for itself.
 -Half-Life 2, Barney Calhoun
%
And yet—I'm not sure what spurred you to it—but there is really no place in this enterprise for a rogue physicist.
 -Half-Life 2, Wallace Breen
%
Dr. Freeman, you really shouldn't be out there. At the moment of synapse as I teleport, this chamber will be bathed in deadly particles that have yet to be named by human science. Perhaps when I'll have the leisure to do the work myself, I'll name one of them after you. That way you won't be completely forgotten! When the singularity collapses, I'll be far away from here; in another universe, as a matter of fact. You, on the other hand, will be destroyed in every way it is possible to be destroyed and even in some which are essentially impossible!
 -Half-Life 2, Wallace Breen
%
Time, Dr. Freeman? Is it really that time again? It seems as if you only just arrived. ...You've done a great deal in a small time...span. You've done so well, in fact, that I've received some interesting offers for your services. Ordinarily I wouldn't contemplate them, but these are extraordinary times. Rather than offer you the illusion of free choice, I will take the liberty of choosing for you... if and when your time comes round again. ...I do apologize for what must seem to you an arbitrary imposition, Dr. Freeman. I trust it will all make sense to you in the course of...well, I'm really not at liberty to say. In the meantime... this is where I get off.
 -Half-Life 2, G-Man
%
I think we just broke about 50 Combine regulations! No eye contact with Combine soldiers; don't damage Combine property; don't kill the Combine representatives; have your papers out and available; no loud noises after 6 o'clock;...
 -Half-Life 2: Episode One, Alyx Vance
%
Dr. Freeman ...I realize this moment may not be the most ... convenient for a heart-to-heart, but I had to wait until your...friends were otherwise occupied. There was a time they cared nothing for Miss Vance; when their only experience of humanity was a crowbar coming at them down a steel corridor. When I plucked her from Black Mesa, I acted in the face of objections that she was a mere child and of no practical use to anyone. I have learned to ignore such nay-sayers when quelling them ... was out of the question. Still, I am not one to squander my investments, and I remain confident she was worth far more than the initial appraisal. That's why I must now ... extract from you some small repayment owed for your own survival. See her safely to White Forest, Dr. Freeman. I wish I could do more than keep an eye on you, but I have agreed to abide by certain ... restrictions.
 -Half-Life 2: Episode One, G-Man
%
It is determined that this is the point where Dr. Clef accidentally fell out of his chair and struck his head nine times against the corner of the desk, fracturing his skull and snapping his neck between the second and third vertebrae.
 -SCP Foundation Supplemental Report 239-B-192
%
You're tuned to the commercial channel--all commercials, all the time! An eternity of useless products to rot your skeevy little mind... forever!
 -ReBoot, Mike the TV
%
Chance has nothing to do with it, child. The future is not determined by a throw of the dice. It is determined by the conscious decisions of you and me.
 -ReBoot, Phong
%
Just once I'd like to ask someone for help and hear them say, "Sure. Let's go. Right now. No strings attached."
 -Mass Effect 2, Commander Shepard
%
I'll relinquish one bullet. Where do you want it?
 -Mass Effect 2, Commander Shepard
%
They tell me its a suicide mission. I intend to prove them wrong.
 -Mass Effect 2, Commander Shepard
%
Sorry, but I'm having trouble hearing you. I'm getting a lot of bullshit on this line.
 -Mass Effect 2, Commander Shepard
%
Hell Garrus, You were always ugly, just slap some face paint on there and no one will notice.
 -Mass Effect 2, Commander Shepard
%
Even the Asari you pick up are psycopathic killers, do you get them all at the same store or something?
 -Mass Effect 2, Jeff "Joker" Moreau
%
Oh, another dangerous alien aboard, Commander. Thanks. Why can’t you collect coins or commemorative plates or something?
 -Mass Effect 2, Jeff "Joker" Moreau
%
This is all Joker's fault! What a tool he was! Now I have to spend all day computing pi because he plugged in the Overlord!
 -Mass Effect 2, Jeff "Joker" Moreau
%
Grunt is... not a stabilising element, Comander.
 -Mass Effect 2, Jeff "Joker" Moreau
%
Broke my thumb on the mute, but I think I made my point...
 -Mass Effect 2, Jeff "Joker" Moreau
%
Ran around with some gangs, broke up some gangs, joined a cult. Kept the haircut.
 -Mass Effect 2, Jack
%
I just figure that, when I kill someone, my chances of survival increase.
 -Mass Effect 2, Jack
%
I help people. Sometimes heal patients; sometimes execute dangerous enemies. Either way helps.
 -Mass Effect 2, Mordin Solus
%
Have killed many, Shepard. Many methods. Gunfire, knives, drugs, tech attacks, once with farming equipment. But not with medicine. Never with medicine.
 -Mass Effect 2, Mordin Solus
%
Not always been a doctor, can handle myself. Advantage of being Salarian. Turians, Krogan, Vorcha all obvious threats. Never see me coming.
 -Mass Effect 2, Mordin Solus
%
I'd never stab you in the back Shepard. Warriors like you and me: straight to the face.
 -Mass Effect 2, Grunt
%
I enjoy the sight of humans on their knees... That was a joke.
 -Mass Effect 2, EDI
%
Following the defeat of the Thresher Maw and Grunt's induction into Clan Urdnot, several breeding requests have come in for Grunt, and one for Shepard.
 -Mass Effect 2, EDI
%
If I know Grunt, your reply will be coming at muzzle velocity.
 -Mass Effect 2, Shepard
%
We can disobey suicidal orders? Why wasn't I told?
 -Mass Effect 2, Garrus
%
Firing not recommended, as the range of the smallest possible explosion would be far greater than the range of the bullet.
 -SCP Foundation Addendum 157-3
%
I'm only going to say this once: Yes, I know that drunken sorority girls at two in the morning can be rage-inducing. No, you may not send them into an alternate universe to shut them up. Yes, the previous Agents working the third shift position are now on Keter duty. 
 -SCP Foundation Addendum 436-AA, Dr. ████ ██████
%
SCP is a smelt metallic object, pale green in color. The unusual profession of the object was discovered by accident. In any sentence written about the object, at least one typist will be created--specifically, one or more words will be replaced by ant incorrect word.
 -SCP Foundation Entry SCP-586
%
Lie to them. Rob them. Drive them mad. Concoct impossible scenarios whose only outcome is their death. And then, when their eyes glisten with rage and shame, drink their tears.
 -Penny Arcade, Gabe
%
The first known “attack” by SCP-705 occurred on ██-█-████, when the container had been left unattended on a counter within the break room. In less than an hour, SCP-705 had taken control of the Mr. Coffee machine, declaring independence and control over the region. The assault was routed when Dr. Rights brushed them away from the burner, resulting in massive casualties and a complete rout. Interviews with SCP-705 remark on this day with great fear and resentment.
 -SCP Foundation Entry SCP-705
%
My only regret is that this is so unfair, it won't humiliate you.
 -Dr. McNinja, Dr. McNinja
%
Sure. You make my face look like this and concerned words come out.
 -Dead Like Me, Rube
%
An ongoing §1 violation cannot evade §1 scrutiny simply by giving the ongoing violation a name and label.
 -AMERICAN NEEDLE, INC. v. NATIONAL FOOTBALL LEAGUE ET AL., Justice John Paul Stevens
%
I'll fight exactly as hard as you pay me to, dood!
 -Cross Edge, Prinny
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The future? Like... with jetpacks?
 -Scott Pilgrim vs. the Universe, Scott Pilgrim
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Okay! I had to fight a dude to get with her! I fought a crazy seven-foot-tall purple-suited dude! And I had to fight 96 guys to get to him, too! He was flying and shooting lightning bolts from his eyes and he could make people do whatever he said automatically! He was totally awesome! And I kicked him so far he saw the curvature of the Earth!!
 -Scott Pilgrim and the Infinite Sadness, Scott Pilgrim
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What kind of idiot would knowingly date a girl named Knives?
 -Scott Pilgrim vs. the World, Ramona Flowers
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Let's be friends based on mutual hate.
 -Scott Pilgrim and the Infinite Sadness, Wallace Wells
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Scott, if your life had a face, I would punch it. I would punch your life in the face.
 -Scott Pilgrim Gets It Together, Kim Pine
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Wallace, you go now. You leave. Begone.
 -Scott Pilgrim's Precious Little Life, Scott Pilgrim
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This song is for the guy who keeps yelling from the balcony, and it's called "We Hate You, Please Die."
 -Scott Pilgrim's Precious Little Life, Crash
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At least I... Wait... Something... You... insult...
 -Scott Pilgrim vs. The World, Scott Pilgrim
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Was he swinging a huge samurai sword at your neck? Excuse me, through a streetcar at your neck?
 -Scott Pilgrm Gets It Together, Scott Pilgrim
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I'm just a guy with a boomerang. I didn't ask for all this flying and magic.
 -Avatar: The Last Airbender, Sokka
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The one that used to be the bad chamber, until the recent refurbishing that is. Of course, we've been calling it the new chamber, but we really should number them. Uh, take them to the refurbished chamber that was once bad!
 -Avatar: The Last Airbender, King Bumi
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Sokka's just jealous 'cause he doesn't have an arrow.
 -Avatar: The Last Airbender, Aang
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You could call it luck... Or you could call it lying.
 -Avatar: The Last Airbender, Aang
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You will learn respect, and suffering will be your teacher.
 -Avatar: The Last Airbender, Fire Lord Ozai
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At my age there is really only one big surprise left, and I'd just as soon leave it a mystery.
 -Avatar: The Last Airbender, Iroh
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Destiny? What would a boy know of destiny? If a fish lives its whole life in this river, does he know the river's destiny? No! Only that it runs on and on out of his control. He may follow where it flows, but he cannot see the end. He cannot imagine the ocean.
 -Avatar: The Last Airbender, Jeong Jeong
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I laugh at gravity all the time. Hahaha, gravity...
 -Avatar: The Last Airbender, Aang
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Be careful what you wish for, Admiral. History is not always kind to its subjects.
 -Avatar: The Last Airbender, Iroh
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Yeah, this makes a alot of sense. Let's bring the guy who's constantly trying to kill us!
 -Avatar: The Last Airbender, Sokka
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Who knew floating on a piece of driftwood for three weeks with no food or water and sea vultures waiting to pluck out your liver could make one so tense!
 -Avatar: The Last Airbender, Iroh
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Well then, maybe you should worry less about the tides, who've already made up their mind about killing you, and worry more about me, who's still mulling it over.
 -Avatar: The Last Airbender, Azula
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But I'm happy here, my aura has never been pinker!
 -Avatar: The Last Airbender, Ty Lee
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There really is no fathoming the depths of my hatred for this place.
 -Avatar: The Last Airbender, Mai
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Don't answer to twinkle toes, its not manly!
 -Avatar: The Last Airbender, Sokka
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You're awfully cute, but unfortunately for you, you're made of meat.
 -Avatar: The Last Airbender, Sokka
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Okay, karma person or thing, whoever's in charge of this stuff... If I can just get out of this situation alive, I will give up meat and sarcasm. Okay? That's all I got. Pretty much my whole identity: Sokka the meat and sarcasm guy. But I'm willing to be Sokka, the veggies and straight talk fellow. Deal?
 -Avatar: The Last Airbender, Sokka
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If you're going to lie to an all-knowing spirit being, you should at least put some effort into it.
 -Avatar: The Last Airbender, Wan Shi Tong
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Drink cactus juice, it'll quench ya. Nothing's quenchier. It's the quenchiest!
 -Avatar: The Last Airbender, Sokka
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We can hide in plain sight there and it’s the safest place in the world from the Fire Nation. Even I couldn’t break through to the city.
 -Avatar: The Last Airbender, Iroh
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It's a giant mushroom...MAYBE IT'S FRIENDLY!
 -Avatar: The Last Airbender, Sokka
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Yesterday my mouth tasted like mud. Now it tastes like sand. I never thought I would miss the taste of mud so much.
 -Avatar: The Last Airbender, Toph
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I know you're not supposed to cry over spilled tea, but it's just so sad!
 -Avatar: The Last Airbender, Iroh
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There is no War in Ba Sing Se. Here we are safe. Here we are free.
 -Avatar: The Last Airbender, Dai Li Agent
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Blech! This tea is nothing more than hot leaf juice!
 -Avatar: The Last Airbender, Iroh
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Hey don’t jinx it! We could still be attacked by some giant, exploding Fire Nation spoon. Or find out the city’s been submerged in an ocean full of killer shrimp.
 -Avatar: The Last Airbender, Sokka
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Nice speech, Azula! It was pretty and poetic, but also scary in a good way!
 -Avatar: The Last Airbender, Ty Lee
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Perfection and power are overrated. I think you were very wise to choose happiness and love.
 -Avatar: The Last Airbender, Iroh
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I don't know the answer. Sometimes life is like this dark tunnel, you can't always see the light at the end of the tunnel, but if you just keep moving you will come to a better place.
 -Avatar: The Last Airbender, Iroh        
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You're so beautiful when you hate the world.
 -Avatar: The Last Airbender, Zuko
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Oh, man! You've NEVER not seen anything like this before!.
 -Avatar: The Last Airbender, Sokka
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Yes! We defeated you for all time! You will never rise from the ashes of your shame and humiliation! ...Well, that was fun.
 -Avatar: The Last Airbender, Azula
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Well yes, I guess you're right. I don't have sob stories like all of you. I could sit here and complain how mom liked Zuko more then me, but I don't really care. My own mother thought I was a monster...She was right, of course! But it still hurt.
 -Avatar: The Last Airbender, Azula
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Without you, all my plans are suddenly possible. I have a vision for the future, Roku...
 -Avatar: The Last Airbender, Fire Lord Sozin
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How am I supposed to convince these people that I'm on their side? What would uncle do? Zuko, you have to look within yourself to save yourself from your other self. Only then will your true self reveal itself. Ugh, even when I'm talking for him I can't figure out what he means. What would Azula do? Listen Avatar, I can join your group, or I can do something unspeakably horrible to you and your friends. Your choice! ...I guess I'm not that good at impersonations.
 -Avatar: The Last Airbender, Zuko
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The past can be a great teacher...Zuko? I think the past is trying to kill me!
 -Avatar: The Last Airbender, Aang
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Now that you have learned the secrets and you know about our tribe's existence... We have no choice but to imprison you here... forever. ...Just kidding. ...But seriously, don't tell anyone. 
 -Avatar: The Last Airbender, Sun Warrior Chief
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Oh, what would Uncle say? Sometimes, clouds have two sides- a dark and light, and a silver lining in between. It's like a silver sandwich! So, when life seems hard...take a bite out of the silver sandwich.
 -Avatar: The Last Airbender, Zuko
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The true mind can weather all the lies and illusions without being lost. The true heart can tough the poison of hatred without being harmed. Since beginningless time, darkness thrives in the void, but always yields to purifying light.
 -Avatar: The Last Airbender, Lion turtle
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That's a great idea, let the blind girl steer the giant airship.
 -Avatar: The Last Airbender, Toph
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Well, I think what Justice Scalia wants to know is what James Madison thought about video games. Did he enjoy them?
 -Schwarzenegger v. Entertainment Merchants Associataion Oral Arguments, Samuel Alito
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When you are wrestling for possession of a sword, the man with the handle always wins. 
 -Snow Crash
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You don't respect those people very much, Y.T., because you're young and arrogant. But I don't respect them much either, because I'm old and wise.
 -Snow Crash, Uncle Enzo
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Until a man is twenty-five, he still thinks, every so often, that under the right circumstances he could be the baddest motherfucker in the world. If I moved to a martial-arts monastery in China and studied real hard for ten years. If my family was wiped out by Colombian drug dealers and I swore myself to revenge. If I got a fatal disease, had one year to live, and devoted it to wiping out street crime. If I just dropped out and devoted my life to being bad. Hiro used to feel this way, too, but then he ran into Raven. In a way, this was liberating. He no longer has to worry about being the baddest motherfucker in the world. The position is taken. 
 -Snow Crash
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The powerless life raft, sloshing around the North Pacific, emits a vast, spreading plume of steam like that of an Iron Horse chugging full blast over the Continental Divide. Neither Hiro nor Eliot ever mentions, or even notices, the by-now-obvious fact that Fisheye is traveling with a small, self-contained nuclear power source.... As long as Fisheye refuses to notice this fact, it would be rude for them to bring it up. 
 -Snow Crash
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God moves in extremely mysterious, not to say, circuitous ways. God does not play dice with the universe; He plays an ineffable game of His own devising, which might be compared, from the perspective of any of the other players (i.e., everybody), to being involved in an obscure and complex version of poker in a pitch-dark room, with blank cards, for infinite stakes, with a Dealer who won't tell you the rules, and who smiles all the time.
 -Good Omens
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That's how it goes, you think you're on top of the world, and suddenly they spring Armageddon on you. The Great War, the Last Battle. Heaven versus Hell, three rounds, one Fall, no submission. And that'd be that. No more world. That's what the end of the world meant. No more world. Just endless Heaven or, depending who won, endless Hell. Crowley didn't know which was worse.
 -Good Omens
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Most of the members of the convent were old-fashioned Satanists, like their parents and grandparents before them. They'd been brought up to it and weren't, when you got right down to it, particularly evil. Human beings mostly aren't. They just get carried away by new ideas, like dressing up in jackboots and shooting people, or dressing up in white sheets and lynching people, or dressing up in tie-dye jeans and playing guitars at people. Offer people a new creed with a costume and their hearts and minds will follow.
 -Good Omens
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He rather liked people. It was a major failing in a demon...Oh, he did his best to make their short lives miserable, because that was his job, but nothing he could think up was half as bad as the stuff they thought up themselves. They seemed to have a talent for it. It was built into the design, somehow. They were born into a world that was against them in a thousand little ways, and then devoted most of their energies to making it worse.
 -Good Omens
%
There were people who called themselves Satanists who made Crowley squirm. It wasn't just the things they did, it was the way they blamed it all on Hell. They'd come up with some stomach-churning idea that no demon could have thought of in a thousand years, some dark and mindless unpleasantness that only a fully-functioning human brain could conceive, then shout "The Devil Made Me Do It" and get the sympathy of the court when the whole point was that the Devil hardly ever made anyone do anything. He didn't have to. That was what some humans found hard to understand. Hell wasn't a major reservoir of evil, any more than Heaven, in Crowley's opinion, was a fountain of goodness; they were just sides in the great cosmic chess game. Where you found the real McCoy, the real grace and the real heart-stopping evil, was right inside the human mind.
 -Good Omens
%
Most books on witchcraft will tell you that witches work naked. This is because most books on witchcraft are written by men.
 -Good Omens
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Any prowling maniac would have had more than his work cut out if he had accosted Anathema Device. She was a witch, after all. And precisely because she was a witch, and therefore sensible, she put little faith in protective amulets and spells; she saved it all for a foot-long bread knife which she kept in her belt.
 -Good Omens
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He didn't say "That's weird." He wouldn't have said "That's weird" if a flock of sheep had cycled past playing violins. It wasn't the sort of thing a responsible engineer said.
 -Good Omens
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Sometimes he would scribble something on a sheet of paper by his side. It was covered in symbols which only eight other people in the world would have been able to comprehend; two of them had won Nobel prizes, and one of the other six dribbled a lot and wasn't allowed anything sharp because of what he might do with it.
 -Good Omens
%
Along with the standard computer warranty agreement which said that if the machine 1) didn't work, 2) didn't do what the expensive advertisements said, 3) electrocuted the immediate neighborhood, 4) and in fact failed entirely to be inside the expensive box when you opened it, this was expressly, absolutely, implicitly and in no event the fault or responsibility of the manufacturer, that the purchaser should consider himself lucky to be allowed to give his money to the manufacturer, and that any attempt to treat what had just been paid for as the purchaser's own property would result in the attentions of serious men with menacing briefcases and very thin watches. Crowley had been extremely impressed with the warranties offered by the computer industry, and had in fact sent a bundle Below to the department that drew up the Immortal Soul agreements, with a yellow memo form attached just saying: "Learn, guys..."
 -Good Omens
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Most psychic abilities are caused by a simple lack of temporal focus, and the mind of Agnes Nutter was so far adrift in Time that she was considered pretty mad even by the standards of seventeenth-century Lancashire, where mad prophetesses were a growth industry.
 -Good Omens
%
Plan A had worked. Plan B had failed. Everything depended on Plan C, and there was one drawback to this: he had only ever planned as far as B.
 -Good Omens
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The technical term for it is infrablack. It can be seen quite easily under experimental conditions. To perform the experiment simply select a healthy brick wall with a good runup, and, lowering your head, charge. The color that flashes in bursts behind your eyes, behind the pain, just before you die, is infrablack.
 -Good Omens
%
Crowley was not used to people identifying him so readily, but Adam stared at him as though Crowley's entire life history was pasted inside the back of his skull and he, Adam, was reading it. For an instant he knew real terror. He'd always thought the sort he'd felt before was the genuine article, but that was mere abject fear beside this new sensation. Those Below could make you cease to exist by, well, hurting you in unbearable amounts, but this boy could not only make you cease to exist merely by thinking about it, but probably could arrange matters so that you never had existed at all.
 -Good Omens
%
We seem to have survived. Just imagine how terrible it might have been if we'd been at all competent.
 -Crowley, Good Omens
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One study, for example, found that children who had just finished playing violent video games were more likely to fill in the blank letter in “explo_e” with a “d” (so that it reads “explode”) than with an “r” (“explore”). App. 496, 506 (internal quotation marks omitted). The prevention of this phenomenon, which might have been anticipated with common sense, is not a compelling state interest.
 -564 U. S. ____ (2011), EDMUND G. BROWN, JR., GOVERNOR OF CAL- IFORNIA, ET AL., PETITIONERS v. ENTERTAIN- MENT MERCHANTS ASSOCIATION ET AL., Justice Antonin Scalia
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This next test involves the Aperture Science Aerial Faith Plate. It was part of an initiative to investigate how well test subjects could solve problems when they were catapulted into space. Results were highly informative: They could not. Good luck!
 -Portal 2, GLaDOS
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Well done. Here come the test results: "You are a horrible person." That's what it says: a horrible person. We weren't even testing for that.
 -Portal 2, GLaDOS
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That jumpsuit you're wearing looks stupid. That's not me talking, it's right here in your file. On other people it looks fine, but right here a scientist has noted that on you it looks "stupid". Well, what does a neck-bearded old engineer know about fashion? He probably— Oh, wait. It's a she. Still, what does she know? Oh wait, it says she has a medical degree. In fashion! From France!
 -Portal 2, GLaDOS
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Most test subjects do experience some, uh, cognitive deterioration after a few months in suspension. Now, you've been under for... quite a bit longer, and it's not out of the question that you might have a very minor case of serious brain damage. But don't be alarmed, all right? Although, if you do feel alarm, try to hold onto that feeling, because that is the proper reaction to being told you have brain damage.
 -Portal 2, Wheatley
%
Finally, a nemesis worthy of my vast intellect...Holmes versus Moriarty... Aristotle versus mashy spike plate!
 -Portal 2, Wheatley
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Oh, in case you get covered in that Repulsion Gel, here's some advice the lab boys gave me:...Do not get covered in the Repulsion Gel." We haven't entirely nailed down what element it is yet, but I'll tell you this: It's a lively one, and it does not like the human skeleton.
 -Portal 2, Cave Johnson
%
This next test may involve trace amounts of time travel. So, word of advice: If you meet yourself on the testing track, don't make eye contact. Lab boys tell me that'll wipe out time. Entirely. Forward and backward! So do both of yourselves a favor and just let that handsome devil go about his business.
 -Portal 2, Cave Johnson
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Science isn't about why, it's about why not. You ask: why is so much of our science dangerous? I say: why not marry safe science if you love it so much? In fact, why not invent a special safety door that won't hit you in the butt on the way out, because you are fired! No, not you, test subject, you're fine. Yes, you! Box! Your stuff! Out the front door! Parking lot! Car! Goodbye!
 -Portal 2, Cave Johnson
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All these science spheres are made of asbestos by the way, keeps out the rats. Let us know if you feel a shortness of breath, a persistent dry cough, or your heart stopping. Because that's not part of the test, that's asbestos. Good news is the lab boys say the symptoms of asbestos poisoning show a median latency of 46 years, so if you're thirty or over you're laughing. Worst case scenario you miss out on a few rounds of Canasta, plus you've forwarded the cause of science by three centuries. I punched those numbers into my calculator, and it makes a happy face.
 -Portal 2, Cave Johnson
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All right, I've been thinking. When life gives you lemons, don't make lemonade. Make life take the lemons back! Get mad! I don't want your damn lemons! What am I supposed to do with these?! Demand to see life's manager! Make life rue the day it thought it could give Cave Johnson lemons! Do you know who I am? I'm the man who's gonna burn your house down! With the lemons! I'm gonna get my engineers to invent a combustible lemon that burns your house down!
 -Portal 2, Cave Johnson
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The Schrödinger's cat paradox outlines a situation in which a cat in a box must be considered, for all intents and purposes, simultaneously alive and dead. Schrödinger created this paradox as a justification for killing cats.
 -Portal 2, Fact Sphere
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Okay. Look. We both said a lot of things that you're going to regret. But I think we can put our differences behind us. For science. You monster.
 -Portal 2, GLaDOS
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Don't forget. Always, somewhere, someone is fighting for you. As long as you remember her, you are not alone.
 -Puella Magi Madoka Magica, Akemi Homura
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Hm... Okay, but I can only pay you in unimaginable power.
 -El Goonish Shive, Tedd Verres
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Yes, but even though they probably certainly know that you probably wouldn't, they can't certainly know that although you probably wouldn't, there is no probability that you certainly would!
 -Yes, Prime Minister, Sir Humphrey Appleby
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Oh, so you noticed. That's right. I am nice. A lot has happened to me, but I've carried on without taking revenge on anyone for anything. If I were a normal person, the world would have ended long ago. I'm a savior, in a way.
 -My Teen Romantic Comedy SNAFU, Hikigaya Hachiman
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I just don't want a wizard to kill you! I'm trying to be a good dad, here! ... Mitzi! Am I a bad dad to not want a wizard to murder our baby boy?
 -Dr. McNinja, All the King's Dirtbikes and All the King's Men, Dan McNinja
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I think Karkat will successfully fail to understand the monster, and possibly also successfully shout at the monster.
 -Rose, Homestuck p9598
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